Friday, November 19, 2004

It's Not Easy Raising Daughters Today

I regularly read a column on the CBC website by a feminist writer named Georgie Binks. Today, her column contained a quote from a so-called “sex-therapist”. It went like this: "We don't want to be admonishing teenagers against having sex. We want to be teaching them more about how to have healthy sex.".

I thought about this for awhile, puzzled, and suddenly the light came on.

Oh. Of course. Healthy teenage sex! As opposed to unhealthy teenage sex! Riiiiight! I get it. It’s our job, as parents, to send our thirteen year-old daughters into the night with a wink and a condom.

Gee. I had always intended to advise my daughters to abstain from sex until they are emotionally mature and have a life-mate. How utterly passé eh? I guess nowadays you can’t be a good parent unless you are a willing partner in your children’s promiscuity.

Of course there is no voice on the CBC to bring balance to this debate. In fact, hardly anyone these days is expressing discomfort or concern about parents becoming complicit allies in their children’s sexual rompings. "Sex is everywhere and the sooner you get down with it, the better!" That’s the message our children are getting from the CBC and from everywhere. And that’s the message our new-age parents have bought into and are promoting.

But what about the severe personal and social price of teenage sex? Especially for young women. Why is no one mentioning that there has been an alarming increase in single welfare motherhood and sexually transmitted diseases in female teenagers since parents became sexual cheerleaders for their daughters? Sadly, There are precious few public platforms in Canada that allow anyone to point out the obvious - being a sexually promiscuous and irresponsible female teen often carries with it a terrible personal and social cost.

My oldest daughter is only nine, so I’ve got a few years to go before I’m thrust into the fun-filled world of teenage sexual angst, but I do know one fact that is unassailable – and one fact that I will be teaching my daughters - boys and girls are completely different. This is why I will stress to my daughters that they are not sexually equal to boys. No. They are their superiors.

There will never be a level sexual playing field between males and females no matter how many journalists, sex-therapists and assorted CBC left-wing social commentators cry and wring their hands for it. Let me repeat - boys and girls can never be sexual equals - girls will always be superior. After all, they have a uterus. Boys don’t. Girls can conceive new life inside them and bring that that life into the world.

I believe that it is because of this wondrous gift that only females have – the gift of being the only gender that can give birth to our children - that they have a higher standard of sexual care than boys do. They need to be more careful. They need to respect themselves and their reproductive abilities more than boys do. After all, they are the ones who carry the gift. However, the gift can also be a curse, depending on when and with whom they have sex.

I can almost feel the righteous indignation seething from some of you who read this. “How dare this stupid sexist pig suggest that females have more responsibility than males when it comes to sexual activity and reproduction” To these people I have only one simple question to ask: How many single dads do we have living in our welfare housing complexes with their illegitimate offspring?

You'll need only the fingers on one hand to perform this calculation. But you'll need a calculator to count the mothers.

Girls have a lot more to lose than boys when they engage in casual sex. One single act in the heat of the moment can wreck their lives and shatter their dreams forever. Daily, our adolescent daughters are bombarded with the message that sex is normal and healthy and they have as much right as boys to go out and get some. And daily our adolescent daughters get pregnant by boys, and catch STDs from boys, who will never be husbands to them, never be fathers to their children and never be financially stable enough to provide any sort of support.

Why then, is it sexist or inappropriate for me to suggest that girls should be more careful? This is not simply a matter of gender equity or sexual empowerment. It is more a matter of common sense. Those with the most to lose should take the most care.

As a father of two girls who will someday be young women, I am appalled at the message that is being sent to them in today’s society. They are constantly being told that it is empowering to cavort as so-called equals with boys in the sexual sandbox. No one is telling them that, in order to be men’s sexual equals, they have to take a step down the evolutionary ladder, not a step up. And many of them take that step, fall, and never get up.

It’s the fall that I hope to help my daughters avoid. I expect to get no help from the media or from any public mouth-piece in our society. So I guess I’m on my own. Wish me luck. The last thing we need in our society is another single teenage mother on welfare with herpes. But that is exactly the type of young woman our valueless society is encouraging my daughters to become.


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