Sunday, July 10, 2005

Spanking, Is There Anything It Can't Do?

Here in new-age Canada some people actually think that spanking should be a criminal offense. Imagine, administer a few light taps on your child's bum and end up in jail. I have no idea where these people come up with this stuff. Obviously they have not done their research. Spanking is an effective, tried and true disciplinary method for dissuading children from exhibiting harmful or inappropriate behaviors. In addition, most people are not aware of the many side-benefits that spanking provides to families and society in general. Here, let me give you a few examples:

1) Chairs last longer in homes where children are spanked. Children with stinging buttocks tend to stand a lot more and sit a lot less than the average child. This saves wear and tear on chairs. Parents who buy fewer chairs can invest the money saved in their child's education
.......spank your child - secure his university education.

2) Our nation is safer when children are spanked. The next time you are spanking your child you might want to try tapping out a few messages in morse code. This will turn a simple disciplinary activity into a learning experience which will prepare your child for a rewarding career in the armed forces.
.......safeguard democracy - spank your child

3) More spanked children learn to write with either hand. Trying to block the blows to one's buttocks with one's writing hand can sometimes result in an injury to the hand. As a result, the child is motivated to learn to write and eat with his opposite hand while the injured hand heals. Thus the lucky child learns a new skill that will be invaluable in adult life
.........spank your child - promote ambidexterity.

4) Spanking helps develop artistic ability. Does your child have difficulty distinguishing between subtly different shades of red - like, magenta, rose, crimson, burgundy, pink, sunset, blush, etc? Well, your troubles are over. The next time you are spanking him, use a mirror so he can see the gradual change in his bum's color. Be sure to point out each shade of red to him as it occurs and spell each word slowly. Within a few months you will have a child who will probably grow up to be a talented painter. the Arts - spank your child.

5) Spanking builds a national identity and brings people together. Have you ever wondered how those Olympic athletes learned to run and jump so well? Yep, everything they are, they owe to spanking. You’d be surprised how strong and resilient young people grow when they are running through the house, leaping over furniture and jumping out windows, trying to avoid a good licking. These are the kids who go on to win the gold for their countries.
.......spank your child – help build National pride.


Post a Comment

<< Home