Tuesday, August 09, 2005

We Come In Peace (To Save Canada)

In my dream, benevolent extra terrestrials descended to Canada and took over the federal government. They then issued the following proclamation:

“We have been studying your society for a considerable time and can stand by no longer while you fritter away all that has made you successful. We have watched your deceitful, corrupt, self-serving Liberal government slowly kill your democracy and strip your nation of its priceless traditions and values. You have become a weak, complacent, unprincipled people. You do not deserve to be saved. But we pity you. And we can no longer stand back and allow this atrocity, this cultural genocide, to continue in Canada. It is a crime against humanity. Therefore, we have assumed control. Effective immediately, for your own benefit, the following adjustments will be made to your laws and public policies:

PARLIAMENTARY PROCEDURE: Your politicians behave like baboons. To remedy this, no noise or vocal outbursts will be permitted on the floor while the house is in session except by those asking and answering questions. Penalties for violating decorum will range from fines to expulsion from the house by the Speaker. The Speaker will be a non partisan judge appointed by a Committee made up of Provincial Premiers. The Speaker will operate Parliament like a court of law in that he/she will have the authority to force government to provide direct answers to all questions or hold it in contempt. There will be a two term limit on all elected MPs and a one term limit on the Prime Minister.

ELECTIONS: Only citizens will be eligible to vote. Elections will be held on a fixed date every 4.5 years, rotating between the spring and autumn so Canadians do not get bored. (You do have such short attention spans.) No polls will be published within 30 days of an election. Electronic, web based, or mechanical voting of any kind will be outlawed. Many Canadians barely understand a pencil and paper. In addition, data is much more easily corrupted and manipulated than physical paper ballots.

CHARTER OF RIGHTS AND FREEDOMS: The Charter is hereby suspended. Past decisions will be upheld. No future court challenges based on the Charter will be entertained by our court system. No longer will the destiny of Canadians be determined by unelected elitist Supreme court judges based on their flawed, biased interpretation of this vague and ambivilent document. There are sufficient protections under law to maintain fairness and equity in Canadian society. Let government write the laws and the courts interpret them. And let this dichotomy be unbreachable.

SUPREME COURT: Judges will be appointed by the PM for a 7 year term on a rotating schedule. To assure a smooth transition, new appointees will sit in as observers on trials and deliberations for one year before taking over from their predecessor. An all-party Committee will conduct public hearings on the appointments, question prospective judges and have the ability to veto the PM’s decision.

IMMIGRATION: The number of immigrants will be reduced. Canadian culture is undergoing radical change at a rate too fast to be managed effectively and for the sole purpose of sustaining the corrupt ruling party’s hold on power. Furthermore, Canada will accept only one immigrant over age 45 for every 200 immigrants under age 45, unless they put up a $100,000 bond. There are already too many old people in Canada to care for.
- - Illegal refugees arriving unannounced on Canadian soil will have no rights to a lawyer. They will be detained until their cases can be heard. All decisions will be final. There will be no appeal. Rejected claimants will be deported immediately. Unemployed refugee lawyers will be reassigned as Wal Mart greeters across Canada.
- - All immigrants and refugees whose applications are accepted will be assigned to communities throughout the nation so as to facilitate integration and avoid the continued proliferation of today’s harmful culture of exclusionary mono-cultural tribalism and Liberal vote buying.

CRIMINAL JUSTICE: The parole system will be eliminated. Criminals will be required to serve their entire sentences. Parole will be replaced by an effective program to rehabilitate and integrate criminals back into society. A life sentence will mean life. Concurrent sentencing will be outlawed. There will be no plea bargaining except to reward someone who testifies against another criminal. Importing hard drugs or dealing in large quantities of same will bring a life sentence in jail. Considerable jail time will be given for carrying or using handguns in crime. Paedophiles will be jailed for life after their second conviction. The Youth Criminal justice Act will be scrapped in favour of a new regime focused primarily on restitution and public shame. Shame is a powerful deterrent.

GOVERNMENT GRANTS AND SUBSIDIES: no further grants or government funding will be given to any political or social activist group. Groups with a worthy cause will be able to rally support among the public and obtain private funding. The public should not be expected to pay for their ideologically driven leftist escapades and social engineering missions. Likewise all corporate welfare including grants and tax breaks to profitable corporations will be eliminated.

MULTICULTURALISM: This divisive program will be eliminated. Canadians should celebrate their similarities as human beings, not focus on their differences. Newcomers should adopt the values and respect the traditions of Canada. Those who would ignore Canadian values and traditions, chosing instead to wallow in their own foreign culture, should do Canada a favour and go back to where they came from.

GUN REGISTRY – This program will be eliminated. It is a hideously expensive, useless travesty of Liberal malfiescence and incompetence.

BILINGUALISM – This program will be eliminated. It is deeply biased and is the mechanism through which Canada’s Francophone minority has seized control of the nation to dominate virtually all areas of Canada’s government and bureaucracy. Even today, Quebec is allowed to be unilingual French while the rest of Canada is forced to be bilingual. In the interest of fairness to the Anglophone people, this mechanism of French oppression must be dismantled.

NATIONAL CHILDCARE – This program will be eliminated. If the government has no business in the bedrooms of the nation, it has no business in the nurseries or the rest of the house either.

EMPLOYMENT EQUITY – This program will be eliminated. White men have been punished enough.

CBC – This travesty of unbalanced journalism and covert right arm of Liberalism will be eliminated. Airfare to Cuba and North Korea will be generously provided to any employees who wish to seek refuge in a place where their ideology will be embraced.

SENATE – This government body will be eliminated. If our senators have any use at all, except for producing reports that Parliament ignores or exercising blind partisan loyalty, they have not demonstrated it lately.

GOVERNOR GENERAL – This position will be eliminated. There is no other choice, really. With no CBC, there will be no one qualified to become GG.

ARMS LENGTH FOUNDATIONS – These institutions will be eliminated. The very fact that the Canadian government formed secretive mafia-inspired foundations to handle $billions of tax dollars and then made it illegal for the Auditor general to check their books says it all.

MILITARY: Some surplus plus funding from the eliminated programs will be diverted to increase the Canadian army to 250,000 bodies. Additional ships, submarines, and aircraft will be purchased and deployed. If necessary, mandatory participation will be invoked as is the case in Switzerland. Disabled vets will be well taken care of. Canada must be able to defend itself in this world of villains and tyrants. Let this be the first few steps toward attaining this crucial goal.

ETHICS COMMISSIONER: The EC will be appointed by the official opposition and report directly to Parliament.

HEALTH CARE: there will be a carefully structured and regulated implementation of some private services for essential treatments and surgeries using the health care systems of enlightened European nations such as Sweden and Finland as models. This will be expanded as necessary. The number of doctors, nurses, facilities and equipment will be increased until everyone has a family doctor and access to timely care.

FISHERIES: An increased Navy presence will conduct comprehensive, continuous patrols of Canadian waters, impounding foreign fishing boats in violation of our limits. All violators will be subject to criminal proceedings in Canada.

KYOTO: Canada will immediately rescind all Kyoto commitments and leave the radical left-wing environmental junk-science to the nations gullible enough to believe it. Protesters will be entered in a draw to win a Hummer.

OIL: Significant effort will be expended to develop policy that will allow Canada to become self sufficient in gas in 10 years, never to rely on the middle east again.

CRTC: The CRTC will lose all disciplinary powers. Anyone who feels offended at something written or said can take action through the courts. Freedom of speech and truth in the media will take precedence over protecting Canadian’s overly fragile sensibilities.

RCMP – The head of the RCMP will not be appointed by the Prime Minister, but rather by a non partisan committee. This will free our politicized national police force to conduct thorough, competent investigations of our government when corruption arises, for a change.

EMPLOYMENT INSURANCE: Canadians who contribute continuously for 10 years will be eligible for one year’s coverage at 100% of their pay if they lose their jobs through no fault of their own. Canadians who accrue 20 years of contributions will be permitted to cease contributing altogether until they collect from the system.

CANADIAN HUMAN RIGHTS TRIBUNAL: The Tribunal will be disbanded immediately. There are already sufficient remedies under law to punish those who discriminate and harm others. Canadians do not need another partisan appointed, unaccountable bureaucracy to promote the agenda of the nanny state and circumvent the individual rights of Canadians.

NATIVE AFFAIRS: Even we, as all knowing benevolent extra terrestrials, with the wisdom of the ages to draw upon, have no idea what to do about this. We are not Gods. Sorry, but you’re on your own with this one.

As our noble benefactors finished their speech, Canadians everywhere rejoiced. Then I woke up. But, oh, what a dream it was.


Blogger RightGirl said...

A wonderful and inspiring dream. I hope they come soon!


11:58 AM  
Blogger TonyGuitar said...

I had a similar dream, but it was Harper and the CPC who got many of these things done.

Most noteworthy was the installation of the Whistle-Blower bill C-11, now in place with real effectiveness to protect persons who take risks to report government wrongdoing that has cost us losses in the recent past of hundreds of millions of lost revenues.

Harper and the CPC also established the finely tuned Bill-205 that covers specific issues of reprisal, threat and harassment of whistle blowers.
This is a Grewal bill, by the way.

The Conservatives had just completed implementation of individual Account and Audit for every government department and ministry when I woke up.

Just the three measures that happened in that dream were enough to protect Canada's future revenues for the foreseeable future, no matter who happened to form the government.

Can't wait to see that dream come true. 73s TG Bendgovernment.blogspot.com

11:42 PM  

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