Sunday, January 08, 2006

Fathers, Feminism and Parental Responsibility

They used to call them bastard children. The ones with no father. They were pitied. Their mothers were shamed. Their families were disgraced. Needless to say, there were not a lot of these kids around in most communities. Social pressure and strongly held religious beliefs discouraged bastardy. Fathers stayed with their families. Mothers did too. And - guess what - except when parents died, virtually all children had both a father and a mother. Unlike today.

Today, siring fatherless children is looked upon as an esteemed career choice in our welfare housing communities. Many women have multiple children by multiple men and live better on our generous welfare system than many working people. The men take little responsibility for raising their children, brag about how many they have conceived and bask in the glory of their studhood.

Meanwhile, their sons grow up to be marginalized, angry, fatherless young men with a penchant for filling each other with hot lead. The daughters drop a few babies before age 18 and spend their days watching Oprah and looking out their apartment windows at the suckers standing in the rain at the bus stop headed for work.

It didn’t used to be this way. But, over the past few decades, our society has changed dramatically. And not for the better. The twin scourges of socialism and radical feminism have swarmed across our landscape like the wretched, festering locusts that they are. And when they arrived, it was game over.

The scourge of socialism brought with it a free apartment and monthly cheque to any female who has a functional uterus and decides to use it. This state-sponsored, sex rewards program hasn’t exactly lessened the plague of fatherlessness. If anything, it’s been a major contributing factor, as should be expected.

And then there’s the second scourge – socialism’s sister – radical feminism. Thanks to this nifty social construct, women are no longer viewed as men’s sexual superiors. Now they are merely men’s equals. Men used to have to wait until after marriage to partake in their wife’s wondrous gift. Women held all the cards. Not any more. Now men can usually get whatever they want after a few dates. It’s no longer a gift to be anticipated, cherished and given in return for a lifelong commitment. Now it’s like a burger picked up at the drive through. You know the old saying about buying the cow? Is it any wonder there are so many children born to single mothers these days?

Anyway, as you can probably tell, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the pandemic of promiscuity and bastardy sweeping across the face of our society and have decided that men should take no responsibility for it at all. After all, it’s not their fault. Consider that the problem of single motherhood and absentee dads has only been around for 30 – 40 years in our culture. Over those years men haven’t changed much. In fact men haven’t changed much since they were clubbing females over the head and dragging them into caves. They’re just doing what they’ve always done – trying to get women to have sex with them. The only difference is that now women are letting them have their way a lot more. And as a result of these bad decisions, a lot more unattached women are getting pregnant and sentencing their kids to a fatherless life.

And it’s not men’s fault. Really. Think about this – the only thing that men contribute to the creation of life is sperm. That’s it. It is the woman alone who has the capacity to create life inside her. And it is the woman alone who has sole dominion over that life for the first nine months of its existence until it comes forth into the world. If the woman wants to terminate this burgeoning life while its in her belly, she can do it and the man has no say whatsoever. After all, it’s her body, isn’t it? And isn’t he just a sperm donor with no rights at all?

However, once the woman, in her generosity, allows the baby to be born, everything changes. All of a sudden, this baby becomes the financial responsibility of the sperm donor – a poor wretch who had no rights at all up until that point. Why is this? If a woman has sole control over her body and all that grows in it, despite needing sperm to create what grows in it, why does she not have sole responsibility for what comes out of her body, despite needing sperm to create what comes out?

Women know the risks when they have sex. They know that pregnancy could occur. And yet, when they engage voluntarily and casually in sex solely to satisfy their own selfish carnal desires, and the natural outcome occurs, they expect the sperm donor to support their illegitimate offspring, even if he’s made no commitment to them or to a relationship.

Thankfully, I am in a stable, loving marriage. My children live under the same roof as I do and receive my love (and lectures) everyday. I believe the nuclear family model to be the most elegant, efficient, effective and successful social construct in the world. I also believe that men who abandon their mate and children are scumbags, as are women who purposely exclude fathers from their children's lives. Children conceived after a commitment has been made should remain the father’s responsibility. However, the same should not hold true for men whose sperm produce children in the bodies of women who demanded no commitment from them prior to conception.

As noted above, men today are much the same as the men who lived one hundred years ago when virtually all families stayed together and virtually all children had a father. They haven’t changed. Women have. And society has. Nowadays, men find themselves in a world where the carnal candy store is open 24-7. And no one in society is slapping their hands when they reach for the bon bons before paying for them. And when they feed their faces, they aren’t actually stealing anything. They are just partaking of what is freely offered by a equal and willing partner – a partner who has chosen to ignore the risks to her future, her body, and the future of any life that is conceived in her body. And if a woman gives her body freely to a man who has made no commitment to her, knowing full well what the repercussions could be, why should the woman not take full responsibility for those repercussions? And why should the man have to take any responsibility at all?


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