Sunday, October 01, 2006

The Main Differences Between Women And Men

1. Women communicate by talking; Men communicate by pretending to listen.
2. Men get a spare tire; Women get a bigger trunk.
3. Women hate sexism; Men can’t bring themselves to hate anything that contains the word “sex” .
4. Women paint their nails; Men paint and nail stuff.
5. Men only want one thing; Women want everything else.
6. Men have balls; Women bust them.
7. Women have children; Men can’t bear them.
8. Women pat dry; men rub.
9. Women grow old; Men grow more careful about mentioning it.
10. Women get jobs traditionally held by men; Men get jobs traditionally held by men.
11. Women enjoy having a nice home with attractive décor; Men could live in a stable if there was TV football and beer.
12. Women love to shop all day; men would rather tear off their left nut and eat it raw.
13. Women can wear their blouses with two buttons undone at the office; Men can get away with this only if their name is Gino and they wear lots of gold chains.
14. Women wear high heels; Men get high and act like heels.
15. Men have a hard time expressing their emotions; Women have a hard time shutting up about theirs.
16. Women give sex to get romance; Men give romance to get sex.
17. Women ask “do I look fat in this?” Men never ever lie in response, honest.
18. Women fake orgasms; Men pretend to believe them.
19. Men think about sex once every three minutes; Women get headaches.
20. Women stab in back; men punch in face.
21. Men can pee standing up; Women are somewhat limited in this respect.
22. Women like a man to look deep in their eyes; Men look over their shoulders at a woman’s ass.
23. Men have one of these; women have one of those and with one of those they can get as many of these as they want.


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