Sunday, March 01, 2009

Childless Couples in Little Boxes in the Sky

I live in Toronto. Not a bad city, all things considered. We have our share of good restaurants, lush parks, cool nightclubs and multiple Chinatowns. Of course, there are bad things too, like gridlock, graffiti, litter strewn streets and cemeteries filled with lead-filled dead black men shot by other black men,. But, overall, we are pretty average as far as cities go. For example, like most other Canadian cities: ethnics commit a hugely disproportionate number of crimes; our schools are completely ineffective at educating our young; and our local government is dominated by tax-crazy, loony, left-wing whackos.

But, above all else, Toronto, like most other cities, has become dominated by childless couples living in little boxes in the sky. They are, I would wager, the defining cultural characteristic of our fair city.

They used to call them DINKS – double income no kids. Not sure what they call them these days. They live in condominiums. God forsaken towers of glass and steel stuffed with couples whose limitless drive and ambition have somehow lead them to the grand accomplishment of existing alone together in a 700 square foot holding-tank in the sky.

I hear that it’s rude to call DINKS ‘childless’. The correct term is child-free. And they ARE free. Free to do whatever they please, whenever they please. Free to pursue their careers and personal hobbies unencumbered by the incessant demands of mini thems. Free to leave behind a professional legacy of……..well, a professional legacy of whatever it is that they do professionally: a file cabinet stuffed with legal briefs, a folder of excellently written reports and letters, a staff of clerical workers hand picked by them. It’s all quite impressive, really. And we mustn’t forget the personal legacy: the semi-annual trips to exotic locals, the thousands of wonderful restaurant meals, the theater productions, the concerts, the………hmmmm, wait a minute, these can’t really be considered part of a personal legacy. After all, a legacy is something that lasts after a person dies. Once these people are dead, so too will be their experiences and memories. Never mind.

But there’s still the professional legacy. And it’s pretty serious stuff, if you ask me. All those problems they solved and matters they dealt with. All those memos and emails and meetings and decisions and stuff. And just think, the reason they had so much time for all these profound accomplishments is that they made the ultimate sacrifice and selflessly chose to not have any children.

And they are everywhere, these childless cube-dwelling couples.

Imagine having a natural ability to create life and never using it. What a waste. You go through life, you work at your little job, or maybe you work at a big job, you retire and then you die. How big would a job have to be, to be as important as the life of a child? Your child. A child formed from your seed, carrying your DNA into the future, and entrusted to you to shape and form its beliefs, values and understanding of life? A child who will perpetuate your culture and race.

There is no doubt in my mind that I will, someday, be reviled by everyone - liberals and conservatives alike. Come to think of it, I already am, somewhat. It’s hard to be liked when you have views that are abhorrent to all sides. Purposeful childlessness is an issue that everyone agrees should not be the subject of ridicule or slander. It is, I have come to understand, inviolate and untouchable and must be viewed impartially as a matter of personal choice. It says so in the fine print of our Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Just dig up Trudeau and ask the socialist bastard.

Well I don’t feel impartial about it. Sure, everyone must have the right to decide for themselves whether they will have children of not. I’m not saying that they shouldn’t. I’m just saying that all these couples who purposely don’t have children are doing irreparable harm to their culture and their race. In fact, some might say that they are traitors to their culture and race. (OK, this is where all the childless white women and couples get really indignant and all the other (non-white) women and couples look at each other and fight the inherent urge to agree.)

Oh, c’mon now, you know that this childless epidemic is an upper and middle class white thing. No other human sub-group is so utterly fixated at making itself extinct. Admit it - most, if not all, of the childless people you know are white. Certainly you don’t know very many black women who have never had a baby. And there are certainly no Muslims. (Oh, stop it, you know very well that Muslims procreate like mosquitoes. At least that’s what Mullah Krekar, a Muslim Cleric in Britain says. And with few exceptions, Muslims are not white. So I can juxtapose them like that.)

Anyway, I’d ask what’s up with these childless white folk, but I already know. It’s really all about having the freedom to circumvent the natural reproductive functions of the female body through unnatural means. Two words: ‘Pill’ and ‘Abortion’. The two main miracles of human ingenuity - next to nuclear weapons and the anthrax virus.

The lesson is thusly: give women the chance to have sex without having children, and they will ALL take it. Some will choose to not have kids at all. Others will wait until it’s too late. Both choices are pretty well the same as far as results go – we get fewer people remaining of that particular human sub-group to represent humanity, and the interests of the sub-group, in the future. And it's happening fast. Some nations in Europe, for example, have the lowest birthrates in the world and their founding people will soon be replaced within their borders by less pigmentally challenged newcomers who don't share their reproductive disdain.

So, here we are, the white race is slowly choking itself to death on unused uteruses and discarded fetuses. And us white folk who have kids are faced with a likely future where our offspring will live in a world and a nation where they are the minority and white people like them no longer have any political or social power at all.

I once had a boss who told me, “Don’t come to me with a problem, unless you also come with a solution”. So, true to form, I not only have a problem to bitch about, but I also have a solution.

What we need to do is work towards freeing the uteruses of all the women of the world who live in cultures were they are forced, or expected, to have babies. These females must be given unlimited access to the pill and abortions and strongly encouraged, through moral suasion and social pressure, to use both like crazy.

And then we wait for that inevitable day when artificially concocted sexual equality (brought about by the pill and abortion) sets their race on the road to oblivion just as it has done to mine.

After all, it may be too late for us white folk to reverse the inevitable demise of our kind, but at least we can work towards sharing our fate with others. In the noble name of gender equity, it’s the very least we can do. And I won’t be satisfied until Somalia has birthrates as low as England’s and a 55 year old childless Pakistani-Muslim-Canadian woman is CEO of CIBC. Then, I’ll know we’re making headway.

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