Welcome To The Life You Deserve
Welcome to the new millennium. Just a little over nine years into it and things are already going less than swimmingly. Unless, of course, you’re a shark. For them, it’s a feeding frenzy. Come on in, the water’s red.
People are going bankrupt in droves. Businesses are collapsing like a fat man’s resolve at Thanksgiving. Housing sales and prices are dropping faster than a prostitute’s pants. We are in deep doo-doo the experts say. Fasten your seat belts. It’s gonna be a rocky ride.
Our economy is crashing and burning. And what do I have to say about that?
Burn baby burn. (And pass the marshmallows.)
As if the polar ice caps weren’t melting fast enough what with all the hot air bellowing from Obama’s gaping maw. Now we have to contend with a global financial meltdown.
I hear that a lot of people are going bankrupt. Financially, I mean, not morally – although a good number of them probably already are secular morally bankrupt saps. And while I, of course, have absolutely nothing in common with them in this respect – being both morally and financially sound - I do share one silly commonality with them. Just like them I have a weakness toward envy.
Yep, we all feel envious from time to time. The trick is, of course, not to let it control you.
Many of my neighbors were envious. Envious of anyone who had more stuff than they did. And they let it run away with them. They bought houses they couldn’t afford. They maxed-out their credit lines, filling their world with expensive stuff and doing all sorts of cool things that cost oodles of borrowed money - like putting a big flat screen in every room, buying two nice cars, eating in nice restaurants, going to the theatre and flying off to places where they could lie on the beach and pretend that they weren’t actually behaving like vice-ridden, financial morons.
It really was all about envy – with maybe a smidgeon of selfishness, greed and one-ups-man-ship thrown in for good measure. Yep. There was envy in the air. We were prisoners of envy. We were climbing a stairway to envy. Some people climbed aboard the envy train and allowed it to drive their greedy, undisciplined butts all the way into financial ruin.
And me? Well, I was envious too. Of them! The only difference is that I didn’t let it supercede my common sense. While they laughed and lived it up, I lived a relatively humble life and saved my money. And today, while they owe Shylock several kilos of flesh, I owe virtually nothing to anyone. The condo’s paid off. The car’s paid off. And I have no credit debt at all. Who’s laughing now baby.
My family lives on my modest pay. My wife is disabled and does not work. My car is 8 years old. Our TV is still the old tube style. We haven’t moved up to the LCD or plasma. Our home is small. There only one bath and my two daughters share the second bedroom. We eat a home cooked meal at home for supper most nights and the kids come home for lunch every day.
For years I stood in the rain on the platform as the train barreled by, watching the onboard revelers cavort and frolic in reckless abandon. I wanted to climb aboard. Oh, did I want to. But I didn’t. I had the money in my hand for a ticket, but something stopped me. It don’t know what it was, but it was something more noble and righteous than what they were exhibiting.
Yeah. That must be it. I was more noble and righteous than they were. Smarter too. I hate to brag, but it’s hard not to feel superior when I compare myself with people who are stupid, irresponsible, spendaholic dandies with retarded delusions of entitlement.
They had all the stuff they wanted. And I had far less. Nowadays, nothing’s changed for me. I have the same as I had before. But now they are the ones who have less. The tables have turned. Or is it the worm? Whatever the case, I’m getting a big kick out of it.
While I deprived myself, they were stuffing their faces. While I was prudent and careful, they were decadent and self serving. While I sacrificed today to prepare for tomorrow, they sacrificed their tomorrow to wallow in self indulgence today.
OK, let’s put this situation into perspective, shall we? I am not totally without a heart. I don’t want anyone to starve or freeze to death. And certainly that won’t happen here in Canada. But I have absolutely no sympathy for people who will simply have to make a downward lifestyle change to reflect their financial reality. They’ll just move from a house to an apartment. (Lots of people live in apartments.) They’ll sell their car and take public transportation. (Lots of people do that already) Their kids might have to share a bedroom. They might only have one TV. They might not be able to afford any more restaurant meals or vacations abroad for awhile. Big freakin’ deal.
I say to them - Hi there, welcome to the life you deserve. That other life – forget it, you were never worthy of it anyway. If you were, you could’a paid for it yourself. Now shut up, get over it, quityerbellyachin’ and put those potatoes on the stove. No more restaurants for you for awhile.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m taking the family out to dinner and afterwards, I’ve got an appointment to view your house – ooops, I mean your former house. I hear it’s going for a good price.
By the way, didya ever hear the story of the ant and the grasshopper?
People are going bankrupt in droves. Businesses are collapsing like a fat man’s resolve at Thanksgiving. Housing sales and prices are dropping faster than a prostitute’s pants. We are in deep doo-doo the experts say. Fasten your seat belts. It’s gonna be a rocky ride.
Our economy is crashing and burning. And what do I have to say about that?
Burn baby burn. (And pass the marshmallows.)
As if the polar ice caps weren’t melting fast enough what with all the hot air bellowing from Obama’s gaping maw. Now we have to contend with a global financial meltdown.
I hear that a lot of people are going bankrupt. Financially, I mean, not morally – although a good number of them probably already are secular morally bankrupt saps. And while I, of course, have absolutely nothing in common with them in this respect – being both morally and financially sound - I do share one silly commonality with them. Just like them I have a weakness toward envy.
Yep, we all feel envious from time to time. The trick is, of course, not to let it control you.
Many of my neighbors were envious. Envious of anyone who had more stuff than they did. And they let it run away with them. They bought houses they couldn’t afford. They maxed-out their credit lines, filling their world with expensive stuff and doing all sorts of cool things that cost oodles of borrowed money - like putting a big flat screen in every room, buying two nice cars, eating in nice restaurants, going to the theatre and flying off to places where they could lie on the beach and pretend that they weren’t actually behaving like vice-ridden, financial morons.
It really was all about envy – with maybe a smidgeon of selfishness, greed and one-ups-man-ship thrown in for good measure. Yep. There was envy in the air. We were prisoners of envy. We were climbing a stairway to envy. Some people climbed aboard the envy train and allowed it to drive their greedy, undisciplined butts all the way into financial ruin.
And me? Well, I was envious too. Of them! The only difference is that I didn’t let it supercede my common sense. While they laughed and lived it up, I lived a relatively humble life and saved my money. And today, while they owe Shylock several kilos of flesh, I owe virtually nothing to anyone. The condo’s paid off. The car’s paid off. And I have no credit debt at all. Who’s laughing now baby.
My family lives on my modest pay. My wife is disabled and does not work. My car is 8 years old. Our TV is still the old tube style. We haven’t moved up to the LCD or plasma. Our home is small. There only one bath and my two daughters share the second bedroom. We eat a home cooked meal at home for supper most nights and the kids come home for lunch every day.
For years I stood in the rain on the platform as the train barreled by, watching the onboard revelers cavort and frolic in reckless abandon. I wanted to climb aboard. Oh, did I want to. But I didn’t. I had the money in my hand for a ticket, but something stopped me. It don’t know what it was, but it was something more noble and righteous than what they were exhibiting.
Yeah. That must be it. I was more noble and righteous than they were. Smarter too. I hate to brag, but it’s hard not to feel superior when I compare myself with people who are stupid, irresponsible, spendaholic dandies with retarded delusions of entitlement.
They had all the stuff they wanted. And I had far less. Nowadays, nothing’s changed for me. I have the same as I had before. But now they are the ones who have less. The tables have turned. Or is it the worm? Whatever the case, I’m getting a big kick out of it.
While I deprived myself, they were stuffing their faces. While I was prudent and careful, they were decadent and self serving. While I sacrificed today to prepare for tomorrow, they sacrificed their tomorrow to wallow in self indulgence today.
OK, let’s put this situation into perspective, shall we? I am not totally without a heart. I don’t want anyone to starve or freeze to death. And certainly that won’t happen here in Canada. But I have absolutely no sympathy for people who will simply have to make a downward lifestyle change to reflect their financial reality. They’ll just move from a house to an apartment. (Lots of people live in apartments.) They’ll sell their car and take public transportation. (Lots of people do that already) Their kids might have to share a bedroom. They might only have one TV. They might not be able to afford any more restaurant meals or vacations abroad for awhile. Big freakin’ deal.
I say to them - Hi there, welcome to the life you deserve. That other life – forget it, you were never worthy of it anyway. If you were, you could’a paid for it yourself. Now shut up, get over it, quityerbellyachin’ and put those potatoes on the stove. No more restaurants for you for awhile.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m taking the family out to dinner and afterwards, I’ve got an appointment to view your house – ooops, I mean your former house. I hear it’s going for a good price.
By the way, didya ever hear the story of the ant and the grasshopper?
