Sunday, March 01, 2009

Childless Couples in Little Boxes in the Sky

I live in Toronto. Not a bad city, all things considered. We have our share of good restaurants, lush parks, cool nightclubs and multiple Chinatowns. Of course, there are bad things too, like gridlock, graffiti, litter strewn streets and cemeteries filled with lead-filled dead black men shot by other black men,. But, overall, we are pretty average as far as cities go. For example, like most other Canadian cities: ethnics commit a hugely disproportionate number of crimes; our schools are completely ineffective at educating our young; and our local government is dominated by tax-crazy, loony, left-wing whackos.

But, above all else, Toronto, like most other cities, has become dominated by childless couples living in little boxes in the sky. They are, I would wager, the defining cultural characteristic of our fair city.

They used to call them DINKS – double income no kids. Not sure what they call them these days. They live in condominiums. God forsaken towers of glass and steel stuffed with couples whose limitless drive and ambition have somehow lead them to the grand accomplishment of existing alone together in a 700 square foot holding-tank in the sky.

I hear that it’s rude to call DINKS ‘childless’. The correct term is child-free. And they ARE free. Free to do whatever they please, whenever they please. Free to pursue their careers and personal hobbies unencumbered by the incessant demands of mini thems. Free to leave behind a professional legacy of……..well, a professional legacy of whatever it is that they do professionally: a file cabinet stuffed with legal briefs, a folder of excellently written reports and letters, a staff of clerical workers hand picked by them. It’s all quite impressive, really. And we mustn’t forget the personal legacy: the semi-annual trips to exotic locals, the thousands of wonderful restaurant meals, the theater productions, the concerts, the………hmmmm, wait a minute, these can’t really be considered part of a personal legacy. After all, a legacy is something that lasts after a person dies. Once these people are dead, so too will be their experiences and memories. Never mind.

But there’s still the professional legacy. And it’s pretty serious stuff, if you ask me. All those problems they solved and matters they dealt with. All those memos and emails and meetings and decisions and stuff. And just think, the reason they had so much time for all these profound accomplishments is that they made the ultimate sacrifice and selflessly chose to not have any children.

And they are everywhere, these childless cube-dwelling couples.

Imagine having a natural ability to create life and never using it. What a waste. You go through life, you work at your little job, or maybe you work at a big job, you retire and then you die. How big would a job have to be, to be as important as the life of a child? Your child. A child formed from your seed, carrying your DNA into the future, and entrusted to you to shape and form its beliefs, values and understanding of life? A child who will perpetuate your culture and race.

There is no doubt in my mind that I will, someday, be reviled by everyone - liberals and conservatives alike. Come to think of it, I already am, somewhat. It’s hard to be liked when you have views that are abhorrent to all sides. Purposeful childlessness is an issue that everyone agrees should not be the subject of ridicule or slander. It is, I have come to understand, inviolate and untouchable and must be viewed impartially as a matter of personal choice. It says so in the fine print of our Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Just dig up Trudeau and ask the socialist bastard.

Well I don’t feel impartial about it. Sure, everyone must have the right to decide for themselves whether they will have children of not. I’m not saying that they shouldn’t. I’m just saying that all these couples who purposely don’t have children are doing irreparable harm to their culture and their race. In fact, some might say that they are traitors to their culture and race. (OK, this is where all the childless white women and couples get really indignant and all the other (non-white) women and couples look at each other and fight the inherent urge to agree.)

Oh, c’mon now, you know that this childless epidemic is an upper and middle class white thing. No other human sub-group is so utterly fixated at making itself extinct. Admit it - most, if not all, of the childless people you know are white. Certainly you don’t know very many black women who have never had a baby. And there are certainly no Muslims. (Oh, stop it, you know very well that Muslims procreate like mosquitoes. At least that’s what Mullah Krekar, a Muslim Cleric in Britain says. And with few exceptions, Muslims are not white. So I can juxtapose them like that.)

Anyway, I’d ask what’s up with these childless white folk, but I already know. It’s really all about having the freedom to circumvent the natural reproductive functions of the female body through unnatural means. Two words: ‘Pill’ and ‘Abortion’. The two main miracles of human ingenuity - next to nuclear weapons and the anthrax virus.

The lesson is thusly: give women the chance to have sex without having children, and they will ALL take it. Some will choose to not have kids at all. Others will wait until it’s too late. Both choices are pretty well the same as far as results go – we get fewer people remaining of that particular human sub-group to represent humanity, and the interests of the sub-group, in the future. And it's happening fast. Some nations in Europe, for example, have the lowest birthrates in the world and their founding people will soon be replaced within their borders by less pigmentally challenged newcomers who don't share their reproductive disdain.

So, here we are, the white race is slowly choking itself to death on unused uteruses and discarded fetuses. And us white folk who have kids are faced with a likely future where our offspring will live in a world and a nation where they are the minority and white people like them no longer have any political or social power at all.

I once had a boss who told me, “Don’t come to me with a problem, unless you also come with a solution”. So, true to form, I not only have a problem to bitch about, but I also have a solution.

What we need to do is work towards freeing the uteruses of all the women of the world who live in cultures were they are forced, or expected, to have babies. These females must be given unlimited access to the pill and abortions and strongly encouraged, through moral suasion and social pressure, to use both like crazy.

And then we wait for that inevitable day when artificially concocted sexual equality (brought about by the pill and abortion) sets their race on the road to oblivion just as it has done to mine.

After all, it may be too late for us white folk to reverse the inevitable demise of our kind, but at least we can work towards sharing our fate with others. In the noble name of gender equity, it’s the very least we can do. And I won’t be satisfied until Somalia has birthrates as low as England’s and a 55 year old childless Pakistani-Muslim-Canadian woman is CEO of CIBC. Then, I’ll know we’re making headway.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

So, How Do You Like Victimhood So far?

We are afraid. Fear is what defines us as a society. The press emphasize it every day. So do politicians. Victims rights advocates are everywhere pointing their fingers and going tut tut. Emotionally soft soccer moms and dads peer fearfully from their comfy suburban homes and quiver in their fuzzy slippers.

Being a victim is like a badge of honour here in soft, sensitive, socialist Canada. Just purse your lips, lay the back of one hand against your forehead and point the finger of your other hand at your victimizer. Presto, the politicians are there empathizing with you and the press is there with their mics and cameras. You are a celebrity.

Children have been bullying each other since time immorial. Now, all of a sudden, it’s a national tragedy that we all, as a society, must come together to solve. Never mind that bullying is a right of passage for children – a way for them to learn about resilience, courage and self preservation. After all, everyone knows that the best way to defeat a bully is to stand up to him/her. It’s especially preferable to kick the snot out of them. And the victims who do, grow in character and become stronger and more self confident. Of course this is not what our society teaches children. Never are they told to stand up for themselves. Rather they are told to embrace their victimhood and run to others for help. And of course, as is always the case, others – the education, justice and welfare systems - coddle the perpetrator and disregard and disempower the victim. It often seems like they care more for the bully than they do the victim. But that’s to be expected from a system that considers all perpetrators as victims themselves, who have no responsibility for their own actions and can always blame society for whatever mean, spiteful inclinations they may have.

All poor people are victims too. Victims of our heartless capitalist system. Just try and find a media story that asks a homeless person what he has done to rise out of poverty. Never are any of these people expected to do what humans have done since time immemorial and pull themselves out of poverty by trying harder. Always they are cast as helpless victims of a society that has abandoned it’s responsibilities for them. In reality, with the exception of the mentally ill, it is they who have abandoned their responsibilities to society. They are the ones who victimize society by demanding that we take responsibility for their lives so that they may be saved from the effort.

Here in Canada, victims are everywhere and they get way too much attention and regard. Often they are either victims of their own laziness or they are soft, overly sensitive people who fall victim to their own neurotic sense of offense or entitlement.

A woman is launching a class action against a tattoo parlor in Oshawa whose sterilization tools were 2 degrees below the required temperature. When the story broke, public health officials, in an attempt to justify their existence, fell over themselves drawing it into the public eye. The victim doesn't even know if she contracted anything. Many patrons of the tattoo parlor have been tested negative for any inflictions like HIV or Hepatitis results so far. The victim, however, is suing for mental duress. These days you don't have to come to any harm to sue, you just have to be worried that you've come to harm and the lawyers and assorted victim’s lobby groups run to see who can reach the victim’s validation finish line first.

I once read about a thief who broke into a family’s garage while they were away. He got locked in and spent a week eating dog food before the family finally returned and let him loose. He sued and won a settlement for emotional duress. I’m not kidding. These days, even burglars whose schemes are inadvertently thwarted by their own incompetence are considered victims by the courts and entitled to financial compensation.

Another time a drunk party goer dove from the top floor of his party host’s home into the pool. Apparently the host had stopped him several times before he escaped unnoticed to the top floor and dove. He broke his neck and sued. And guess what? He won a huge settlement. After all, we couldn’t expect him to be responsible for his own actions, could we?

And we wonder why the radical islamists are secure in their belief that our society can be toppled. Seems to me that they may be right. We have become vulnerable and soft in our world of plenty. Never do we look to ourselves for answers to our problems or blame ourselves when we do something stupid and fail. Why should we when there is always a politician, reporter or judge at hand to blame someone else.

However, in the victim hunt game, no one is better at exploiting our irrational feelings of victimhood than politicians. They thrive on making us all believe that we are victims of something or other. It’s how they convince us that we need them. It’s how they remain relevant to us. At election time they prance around promising to devictimize us all. Parents who can’t take care of their own children are told that they are victims of a society that does not pay for their children’s daycare. Mothers whose children were conceived through voluntary sex with an irresponsible man with no prospects are told that they have been victimized by him. People who become addicted to booze, drugs, gambling or even sex are told that they have been victimized by a disease and that they, as individuals, are not responsible for their own actions. Laid off auto workers are victims of a government that has not done enough to preserve their jobs. People on waiting lists for subsidized housing are told that they are being victimized by a government that will not build more housing for them. Shooting victims in welfare housing are told that more government funded basketball courts and community programs would have prevented their plight. Kids who drop out of school are told that they are victims of a system that is not giving them the right opportunities.

Whatever problems we have are not our fault, they are always caused by the last government and can be solved if only we elect a new government. Therein lies the fraudulent staple of our democratic political system. And we have bought into it hook line and sinker.

Never are we told that we live in a free and democratic society. Never are we told that our problems can often be solved by making smarter decisions, holding our heads high and pressing on. Always we are told that it is someone else’s fault and if only we had more government help and intervention everything will be alright. After all, what politician in his right mind would ask people to try harder. Don’t we elect governments to do more for us and save us from the pesky responsibility of trying harder? After all, who the hell wants to try harder? We’re way too busy surfing the net, listening to our Ipods, watching our DVDs and tracking the lives of Paris Hilton and Angelina Jolie.

Well, sorry to tell you, but it’s all a crock. People will always fail. And sometimes it’s because they made bad personal decisions and didn’t try hard enough. Sometimes, bad things just happen to them through no fault of others. Of course, we will never hear this simple truth from politicians or the press. After all, they have a vested interest in making us all feel like the victims of others so that we look to them for our salvation. It’s how they make their living and perpetuate their own existence.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

It Takes A Village To Raise A Child - Like Hell

“It takes a Village to Raise a Child”. I’m sure you’ve heard that saying. It’s pretty popular among some of our more enlightened, egalitarian citizens. The village, they say, should take responsibility for the children born in it and provide support to parents and families when it comes to raising and protecting their children.

It may not surprise you to learn that this popular saying originated in Africa. After all, when men go around fathering multiple children with multiple women and take responsibility for few if any of them, you better hope that the village is there to raise the kids. Otherwise, bad things might happen.

Hmmm, wait a minute, bad things are constantly happening in Africa despite the awesome wisdom of their popular sayings and the proliferation of villages. Hey, do you suppose it’s really not true? Do you suppose that maybe villages aren’t really that great at raising children and maybe what’s really needed is a family – a solid, dutiful, loving mom and dad? Is it possible that societies that are not centered on the family will fail, regardless of how many villages there are?

Of course, here in Canada we have to slightly realign our expectations when it comes to villages if we want that cute little saying to apply. After all, there are no African villages here. So, when people say that “it takes a village to raise a child”, we know that they are not really talking about villages - they are actually speaking metaphorically. When they say ‘village’, they really mean society – a society controlled by politicians and bureaucrats; i.e., the state. And when they say ‘raise’ they really mean impart values and exercise parental power, control and influence.

Tell me, to what extent do you trust the village/state to exercise parental power and control over your children? To what degree do you trust society and popular culture to influence your children’s mind and shape the type of person they will become? Are you comfortable having them look to society for their values and the state for their welfare? Or would you rather have them look to you? Most parents would, I think. So, why is it that the influence of the state, society and popular culture on our childrens’ minds and bodies is growing while the role parents play is diminishing? Something is terribly rotten in Denmark. In Canada too, apparently.

Anyway, not to worry. It’s all happened before. The Germans did it back in the 30s. And look what happened with them. Ever hear of the Hitler youth Movement? The Germans put their children in the hands of the state, and everything turned out alright. Sort of. Oh well, at least we kicked their ass.

So you'd think they'd have learned their lesson. But no. Just this week I learned of booklets issued by the German government that advised fathers of how important it was for their infant daughters to start developing a sense of sexual awareness. It encourages them to sexually massage their daughters. Here's a link: This is very, very sick stuff. And just one small example of what we will have in store for us as whack-job, socialistic governments and bureaucrats grow increasingly arrogant and powerful; and families, growing increasingly fractured and confused, look to them for guidance and support.

So, to repeat the question: How much do you trust society and the state with your children? Many people will say that they don’t trust them at all. And yet, despite this, they continue to grow in size, influence and power. And we are all paying the price, especially our children.

Of course, it wasn’t always like this. Once upon a time, here in glorious nannyriffic Canada, people actually looked to their family and each other first and not to society or the state.

The family unit was inviolate. Parents (mothers, mostly) were the main moral and ethical guides for their children. And they worked at it full time. Village schools imparted knowledge. They didn’t spend half the day focusing on touchy-feely social sciences and liberal/feminist dogma like they do today. Fatherless children were rare in the village and no one had the gall to feel entitled to live off the earnings of their village neighbours. Parents could let their kids run around the village without fear. Sexually explicit imagery did not dominate television, magazine covers and billboards in the village, setting horrible examples for our children. Our overactive sons were not drugged into docility by prescription happy village doctors and career focused village mothers. Childhood suicide and obesity were virtually nonexistent in the village. The family was safe and strong. And so was the village.

Compare that with today. The family has become weak and unstable. And with it, our neighborhoods, our village, our society and our very future.

You see, families define the nature of the village. Not vice versa. The village can only be as strong and cohesive as the families that live within it. Not the other way around.

When families are strong and stable and share a common set of values, as we once did here in Canada, the village is strong and stable and children are safe within it. When families are dysfunctional, weak, confused, divided and unstable, as many are today, the village becomes dysfunctional, divided, unstable and untrustworthy. And we can no longer trust it to impart the correct values to our children or keep our children safe.

And therein lays the paradox that no whacky socialist in the world has ever been able to solve: Strong families form strong villages even though they don’t need them to pick up the child rearing slack like weak families do. Conversely and inevitably, weak families form weak villages, even though they need the help of a strong village much more than strong families do.

Too bad it doesn’t work the other way ‘round eh? Too bad dysfunctional, unstable families couldn’t magically form strong, trustworthy villages. Then they could just turn their children over to the village and turn their minds to things that are more fulfilling to them than raising their own children, like watching Oprah, having an affair or hanging out on the stoop smoking pot.

People, we have been deceived. Sold a damaged bill of goods. That stupid saying about a village raising our children is from Africa for crying out loud, a place where many kids are fatherless and far too many are starving or dying of AIDS. Their families are dysfunctional; so their villages are dysfunctional.

And we are well on our way to the same fate.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Sorry, But I Just Don't Feel Sorry

There must be something wrong with me. I actually feel good about myself. I like who I am and I am proud of my heritage.

Apparently, though, I should be hiding my face in shame. I should be wracked with self recrimination and disgrace. Not that I’ve done anything wrong personally mind you, but I have rather pale skin. Not only that, but I am a British descendant, a heterosexual and a male. You know, the type of person who has no right to feel good about him self for any reason whatsoever.

Have you ever heard of ‘white pride’? Me neither. That’s because white people have no right to be proud. I bet you’ve heard of ‘white guilt’ though. That’s because white folk have no right to not feel guilty. How about ‘straight pride’ - have you ever heard of that? I bet you haven’t. After all, being straight is no reason to be proud. ‘Gay pride’ however, is another story altogether. It’s fabulous.

Just look at me. My white male ancestors have done all sorts of unsavory things. We’ve enslaved, oppressed and even murdered all kinds of people throughout history. I know this because, well, because there’s a lot of people out there who will never let me forget it.

I am white. and by virtue of that, I am required to feel guilty. And if I don’t feel guilty about some crime committed by someone else who lived far in the past, I am told that I am a racist and should at least have the decency to feel guilty about that. It’s all too much guilt for this white boy to bear.

Years ago, Chinese immigrants were forced to pay the government an exorbitant head tax in order to come to Canada. White, male railroad barons used Chinese immigrants like slaves to build a railway. Many were maimed – many more died. Now, over 100 years later, I, apparently, owe all Chinese Canadians an apology. And not just an apology, but also financial reparations. I don’t even know them and my forefathers weren’t railroad barons, they were dirt poor peasants. So why do I owe anyone anything? And anyway, since when is a son responsible for the crimes of his neighbour’s father? What is the logic that drives such an irrational, divisive demand?

Canada also, apparently interred some Japanese people and others during World War II. For this, the Japanese community demanded an apology and guess what – yup, reparations. Leaving aside the fact that, in that time, interment was a perfectly reasonable wartime reaction to Japan’s despicable decision to side with Hitler and Mussolini, we are faced again with the ridiculous notion that the descendants of the people who did something should somehow accept responsibility for it.

The Natives too, are restless in their endless demands for apologies and white man’s moola. They claim that the white man stole their land and attempted to eliminate their culture. As if this was something that only white people did. In reality, everybody did it back then. Sure, Europeans came to North America, conquered the natives and took ownership of the land. But, before that, the natives were doing the same thing to each other. Brutality, rape, murder and genocide were nothing new to them. They were enthusiastic participants in these activities already – amongst themselves. We came and stopped all the inter-tribal warfare and gave them the chance to live peacefully in one united, democratic nation.

And the white part of me isn’t the worst. There’s also that vile male side of me. You know, the side that, throughout the ages, waged endless brutal wars and raped, plundered and pillaged their asses off? All the atrocities that have ever occurred were orchestrated by men. The holocaust, the crusades, an incalculable number of atrocities, massacres and wars - the scourge of (pick one): communism, capitalism, fascism, nazism, socialism, islam, Christianity, nuclear weapons, gas guzzling SUVs - all totally the doings of males.

Of course, males have also invented, designed and produced pretty well everything of practical value to humans in the entire freaking world, including all tools, machines, structures, electronics and transportation devices; as well as being responsible for virtually all advancements in engineering, agriculture, medicine, technology, democracy and justice.

But, alas, I am told that I have no right to be proud and should, by all measures of decency and justice, be groveling on all fours begging the forgiveness of anyone my race and gender has slighted throughout history.

Well, OK. I’m tired. I have had enough. Truce. In the interest of reconciliation and good will, I offer this:

On behalf of everyone who shares my skin color and my gender, allow me to say - to the descendants of anyone our forefathers may have wronged who believe we owe them anything because of it - I’m sorry.

I’m sorry you’ve got a chip on your shoulder. I’m sorry you continually live in the past. I’m sorry you can’t get it through your head that I owe you nothing. And I’m sorry my children have to share the nation their forefathers built with anyone who harbours a grudge against them for what their forefathers did.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

More Stuff - Less of What Matters

Every generation of adults deserves to be able to tell their kids and grandkids how much better off they are. It’s like a god given right, or one of Darwin’s main theories, or something.

........Cut to the toothless old man sitting in the rocking chair gumming an old pipe while the kids sit around him on the floor: “You kids got it pretty good these days. You got nothin’ to complain about. Why, when I was a young-un, I used to walk 6 miles to school, in minus 20 degree weather through 8 foot high snow drifts….…”

Yep, the old refrain. No adult should be deprived of the pleasure of saying it and no kid should be deprived of the pleasure of rolling their eyes at it. (Or, at least a variation of it.)

It’s a right of passage – a proud tradition. It’s not about shaming the younger generation. It’s about expressing pride in our advancement and development as a society – the pride of actually being able to provide our offspring with a better life than we had. And indeed, here in Canada, every generation since the great depression has been better off than the one before. Every generation, that is, except the current one.

When I tell my 11 year old daughter about what it was like to be a kid in the sixties and seventies when I was growing up, she sighs and expresses her regret that she didn’t get to experience it. And, I can’t help but feel sorry for her. Her world is different. It’s harsher, faster, more superficial, way more sexual and far more materialistic than mine was when I was her age. It’s also full of strangers.

Earlier this year, my six year old came up to me and said “Daddy, do you know what the white boy in my class said to me.” I said: “White boy? …Hmmmmm……..How many white boys are there in your class?” “One” she answered.

Yep, it’s a brave new world out there for Canada’s founding peoples.

And not only do our children have to struggle to try and understand how to fit in as a fringe minority in their own schools and neighbourhoods, they have to do it with hardly any family to support them. Many of them are the only child born to their parents. Many of their parents were an only child themselves. This means that many kids have no uncles, aunts or cousins. Their families are smaller and there are fewer people in the world connected to them by blood who can offer a sense of belonging, comfort and protection. I can’t even imagine having no family, and yet this is the fate we have bequeathed to our children – a familyless future as they grow old. And it will be even worse for their children as this pattern of white extinction plays out.

When I was 13, I would bound out of the house early Saturday morning, run or bike up the street, find my friends and play with them all day. I knew everyone on our street. Sometimes I wouldn’t even make it home for lunch. And my mother never gave it a second thought. She never told me to be careful as I left. She never did anything to street-proof me. There was no reason to be concerned. The neighbourhood wasn’t a place to be feared, it was a place to live. And live I did. In trees, in fields, in ravines, in bushes - wherever I felt like being at the time. We’d take the trail through the woods and go swimming in the lake, with *gasp* no adults present. When I rode in the car I’d ride in the back, no seatbelt, with my chin on the front seat visually drinking in everything - part of the action. I’d take my bike on 20k trips with my buddies deep into the countryside. I was on the go all the time and that was that. Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be when you’re a kid? Why would any parent agonize over something so natural – so right?

Compare that with today. Good-grief, most parents are quivering, neurotic basket cases when it comes to worrying about their precious children. As a result children are given far less freedom than I had growing up. And they have far less fun too. I don’t know why, or when, we became a culture dominated by fear and worry for our children. All I know is that our children are worse off and their world has become smaller and less welcoming because of it.

Sometimes, when I have a day off, I walk my kids to school or go get ‘em for lunch. Their school serves a pretty densely populated neighbourhood. No-one lives more than a half a kilometer away from the school. And yet you would not believe the number of kids who get a drive to school. Instead of walking with friends or class mates, these often pudgy kids travel separate and apart from everyone in their own little self-contained metal and glass bubble. And we wonder why kids are so self absorbed these days. Hell, even if I had the time to drive my kids to school everyday, I’d make ‘em walk anyway. Not only is it good for them physically and socially, it’s good emotionally for them to understand that Dad is not their personal chauffer. And while they trudged off to school, I’d be able to finish my morning coffee in peace and chuckle about how so many parents these days cater to their children like subservient toadies.

A few generations ago, parental love meant providing kids with comfort when they were hurting, advice when they were confused, food when they were hungry, a warm coat when they were cold and a good smack on the ass when they deserved it. Children learned appreciation, humility and respect. These days parental love is measured in how much stuff they buy their kid(s). It’s a compensatory measure, I think, to assuage mom’s guilt for having to (or, in some cases, choosing to) work. Whatever the case, kids these days got it all. Well, not quite all, as is demonstrated anytime a parent takes the little blighter(s) out. “Gimme, gimme, gimme….Can I, can I, can I…..I want, I want, I want……” Ipods, TVs, DVDs, CDs, computers, cell phones, the latest fashions, junk food.…My god, they’re like little versions of government - no matter how much money they suck out of you, they can always find a reason to demand more. Then they waste what you give them on selfish frivolities.

And the endless commercials and ads targeting kids doesn’t help. When I was a kid, there were no ads for toys on TV except for at Christmas time. It’s almost impossible to imagine, isn’t it. Compare that with today. Now, toys are advertised on TV every frikken day. When once kids could expect presents only at Christmas and birthdays, now, they expect them twice a month, or more oftener. And, many of them aren’t often disappointed.

Sadly, though, no matter how you slice it, my children’s lives are far less rich and considerably less fulfilling than mine was when I was their age. I suspect most parents feel the same. Kids have so much more than we did in the way of material possessions and yet so much less in the way of satisfaction, contentment, optimism and freedom.

I figure I’ll never get to give my version of the ‘six mile barefoot walk through snow to school’ spiel to my kids. It is, after all, a parable about how things were so much worse when I was a kid. For it to sound authentic, I’d have to believe that my kids are somehow better off than I was at their age. I’d have to actually feel a certain level of pride and accomplishment at the ‘better’ life I was leaving them. Sadly, all I feel is a mild sense of pessimism. Oh well, maybe my kids don’t have as much in the way of personal freedom, individuality or spontaneity as past generations did. And maybe they don't have as many adventures as I did growing up. But there ARE these DVD’s they’ve been asking for. A quick trip to Wal-Mart and everyone will feel a lot more optimistic, I’m sure. At least ‘till tomorrow.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Pimps, Whores and Multiculturalism

You hear it all the time here in igno(tole)rant Canada: “Our strength is diversity”; or: “Our nation was built on immigration”; or, my personal favourite: “We are all immigrants”.

Not a day goes by without our senses (not to mention our intelligence) being assaulted by these fraudulent declarations. We are constantly told how wonderful mass immigration and rampant multiculturalism is. There is no proof of this, mind you - no quantifiable comparative evidence. And yet we are required to believe it.

There is, in fact, no way to compare the Canada that is, which has been built around massive immigration of different types of people with radically different beliefs and cultures; and the Canada that could have been, had we exercised greater restraint and built our nation more slowly and carefully.

Maybe if we had been more particular with who we let in, we could have avoided some of the more unpleasant developments that are now plaguing our society. Maybe the Air India bombings would not have happened; maybe our welfare housing and jails would not be crammed with fatherless West Indian youths; maybe there would be no Canadian-Islamists plotting to destroy our society from within; maybe Canadian-Tamil gangs wouldn’t be terrorizing schools in Toronto, maybe there’d be none of the dozens of other ethnic gangs operating in our cities; maybe our city schools wouldn’t be jammed with massive numbers of non-English speaking kids whose presence slows down the entire educational process; and maybe Canadians who were born here and paid taxes all their lives wouldn’t be waiting in line for health care behind some recent immigrant’s frail elderly mother who we let come here two weeks ago at age 69.

And yet, despite all the questions that mass multicultural immigration poses for Canada and every nation that embraces it, all we ever hear is the good stuff. Never will you hear anyone in Canada’s dreadfully unbalanced main stream media (MSM) mention anything about the financial, social and cultural costs of mass multicultural immigration (A uniquely Western phenomenon, by the way. Only North America and Europe are accepting immigrants in such numbers so as to eventually, and on purpose, shift the balance of power away from the founding culture.)

The truth is, that many immigrants are a net liability to Canada. A liability that the rest of us have to bear with higher taxes and declining services. They get access almost immediately to a multitude of expensive services and benefits thanks to our tax funded cradle to grave cafeteria of foreignerfreebies, and we pay for it.

They get free healthcare, education for their many kids (and immigrants have way more kids than people who were born here), social services, legal assistance, child tax credit, subsidized housing, government grants, and so much more. They also get immediate use of our vast and expensive infrastructure – cops, firemen, roads, recreation facilities, parks, transit, water, sewage etc. And there are almost 300,000 new immigrants coming to Canada every year. Even if many become net contributors and integrate into the cultural and social fabric of Canada, there's still an awful lot who do not. We who live in the cities, where most immigrants end up, see it every day.

Sure, "Canada was built on immigration" and "We are all immigrants", as our political pimps and their immigrant community whores keep telling us. (Or is it the other way around? Do the politicians whore out grants for their immigrant community pimps in return for votes; or do the immigrant communities whore out votes for their politician pimps in return for grants? Whichever it is, it's a great deal for them both. Not such a great deal, however, for the rest of us.)

Anyway, the thing that is never mentioned is that the ethnic immigrants of yesterday are in no way comparable to the ones who come here today. Unlike today’s immigrants, yesterday’s immigrants were handed nothing for free and they made no demands. They didn’t walk off the plane into a comfy, warm, tax funded city apartment or motel room, meet with their tax funded immigration lawyer and start whining about their religious or cultural rights. They marched off the boat into a raw and inhospitable landscape, were shipped to all corners of this nation and worked in mines, factories, forests and fields. They became merchants, tradesmen, soldiers and businessmen in small communities all across Canada. They did it so their children could have a better life. They adapted to the culture that welcomed them. They didn't expect the culture to adapt to them. And they neither expected nor asked for anything to be given to them. Sadly, that's not the case with some of today’s immigrants. Encouraged by their tax funded community representatives and shameless MSM apologists, they want it all and they want it now. And all their expectations and demands come with a price that the rest of us must pay.

We never stop hearing stories in the MSM about poor disadvantaged immigrants working for minimum wage or on social assistance, living in welfare housing and feeling bad about themselves. Not bad enough, however, to go back where they came from.

Personally, I’d like to find out how many of our city welfare housing units are occupied by immigrants rather than people who were born here. I bet the results would astound you. And yet the left wing MSM and their multi-culti hangers-on continually cry for more tax funded housing while complaining about the environmantal damage caused by urban sprawl and simultaneously demanding that we allow more immigrants into Canada. Hey, if the immigrants are using up all the available housing and pushing people into the suburbs, maybe it would benefit Canada’s poor and the environment to not keep letting so many of them in. Duh.

And don’t get me started on the environment. The ludicrous left keep crying about an environmental holocaust, demanding that we shrink our environmental footprint while cutting back on greenhouse gasses. Then, they turn around and demand that we increase immigration. Don’t these people realize that immigrants use up much more energy and generate far more pollutants here in welfare rich, consumerist Canada than they ever would back in Africa or Pakistan. Here, they drive cars, ride gas guzzling busses, shop at Walmart, and use copious amounts of water and electricity in their multi bedroom apartments. Back there, many do not drive. They shop at the local market and live in much smaller dwellings, often with no running water or electricity. If we really want to save the environment, perhaps it would be better if these people remain in their homelands, where they will use the least resources and do the least environmental harm. Anyone who puts the environment first should surely see that mass immigration to the west and environmental protection are conflicting priorities.

And, there’s not just the financial and environmental costs of immigration to worry about - there’s also the cultural harm caused by Canada’s divisive multicultural policies. Here in Canada, every immigrant has been told that they have an entitlement to government grants and handouts to promote and sustain their foreign cultures within our borders. And they go for it. Who wouldn’t. It’s our fault for offering such a retarded gift in the first place. Think about it – these people leave nations that their cultures turned into filthy, disease-ridden, wartorn, cesspools of oppression, suffering and death, arrive here, and promptly resume the same cultural behaviors that got them in trouble in the first place. And we pay them to do it. All too often we see entire neighborhoods completely overrun by foreigners, essentially ostracizing and isolating other Canadians who may have been there first. Picture this on a national scale and you will see the inevitable result of state funded multiculturalism.

Clearly, it’s time to cut through the rhetoric and look honestly at the pros and cons of mass multicultural immigration. Let’s have some honest and balanced studies showing the financial impact of today's immigration policies on our society and the societal and political effects on Canada's founding culture. So far, honesty and balance are two things the debate has been lacking. And this, we need to change.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Being a Breeder is Fun

It all happened so fast. One moment I’m a carefree single guy, playing in a rock band, drinking copious amounts of beer with nary a thought for the future – the next moment I’m married with two kids, working in an office and planning for my retirement.

What the hell happened?

Lately my hair started thinning out. Crap. I made it to my late forties with all my hair intact, and now, this? Isn’t baldness supposed to happen earlier on in life, like in a man’s twenties or thirties? It’s not fair to let me build up a false sense of smug security about my hair and then pull the plug (no pun intended) like that.

My waistline has also undergone a *ahem* slight fluctuation over the past few years. I used to be as skinny as a 2 x 4, now I’m, well, slight less so. Not fat, mind you, just not skinny. Ah, the changes age brings.

Mentally, though, I’m at my peak. What I lack in memory or attention span, I make up for in experience, wisdom, and emotional maturity. Thank heavens for that. It takes all the intellectual and emotional energy I can muster to stay on top of this ‘breeder’ gig.

Being a breeder might be fun, but it’s not always easy. For one thing, years ago, everyone was a breeder. Breeders had lots of company. These days, it’s a lot different. There are a lot of non-breeders around. And they have a lot more free time, disposable cash and material stuff than us breeders. Sometimes I feel jealous. All those exotic trips and restaurant meals; doing what they want when they want; being able to get-it-on with each other in any room in the house anytime of day or night without worrying about little peering eyes and curious ears - what a life.

But there are benefits to being a breeder. For one thing, if nuclear Armageddon were to happen tomorrow and the food supply were to run out, I could always cook and eat the kids. That’s a huge benefit right there. What price can you put on survival anyway? And they say that childhood obesity is a bad thing. Not if you’re a parent facing starvation it isn’t. In that case, it’s an extra week of life.

Aside from being a good source of nutrition, children can also be an unending source of entertainment. It’s all a matter of approaching this parenting thing in a creative manner.

In my household, the adults never stop laughing. Last evening at supper, for example, I plopped down heaping plates of asparagus, turnip and brussel sprouts in front of the kids and then sat across from them noisily eating a huge chocolate bar and bowl of ice cream. Well, you should have seen their faces. The wails were amusing, but it was the tears that really cracked me up – the way they make wet little trails down their little cheeks. I never laughed so hard in all my life.

Without a doubt, the opportunities for levity never end when you have children. Cutting off their phone calls when they are talking to their friends is always good for a howl of indignation from them and a good belly laugh for me. Listening on the extension and then nonchalantly joining in the conversation uninvited is another way to brighten up an otherwise mundane day. And then there’s the ‘turning off the TV in the middle of their favourite show for no particular reason‘ trick. That’s my personal favourite. The begging and pleading is funny, but when they stomp off to their rooms crying and wailing, well, it doesn’t get much better than that.

And we mustn’t forget the greatest invention for parental entertainment ever invented – the computer. It’s so easy for kids to get hooked on it. All the sites and games for children - my kids love ‘em. And so do I. We love email too. Whenever I’m feeling a little down or maybe bored, I just go into one of their accounts and delete a message or two – or maybe the entire email account. Then I hover in the background when the kid comes home from school and logs on. Whooo hooo, what a scene.

My oldest daughter (11) likes going on a website called “Club Penguin”. There, each kid gets to be a penguin character. They talk to each other, play games, earn penguin money and buy pretend stuff. It costs $6 a month to be a member. Last week I suspended her membership and told her that I wouldn’t reactivate it until she cleaned her room, scrubbed the bathroom, vacuumed the living room, did the dishes & laundry and washed the windows. By the time she finished crying, my cheeks were aching from laughing so much. You should see how clean the house is now.

Anyway, as you can probably tell, I’m lovin’ being a breeder. I cannot imagine my life without having those wonderful little people around to brighten my day. Now, if you’ll excuse me, my daughter just loaded her new MP3 player with a few hundred songs. It took her a whole week. And I’ve got the owners manual right here. Let’s see…….deleting songs. ……page 6.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

It's a Nannyriffic World

It’s become such an ingrained part of our culture that we don’t even think about it anymore. It’s natural - like a baby crawling. In fact, it’s exactly like a baby crawling, only in reverse. Instead of crawling so we can learn to walk, we have given up walking so we can crawl. And crawl we do, straight to nanny government whenever something bad happens. It has become so much a part of us that it’s practically an involuntary reflex – beyond our conscious control. We don’t even know we’re doing it any more. The doctor taps our knee with a small hammer and our leg jerks upwards. Something unpleasant happens to someone and we reflexively become a pathetic parody of Oliver Twist. Our arms extend outwards towards government, clutching our empty bowls, as we plaintively beg: ‘Please suh, can I ‘ave sum‘ore?”.

Always more, never less. More help; more protection; more safety; more intervention; more intrusive meddling. It’s what we demand and it’s what our almighty government benefactor loves to provide. Day by day, year by year, decade by decade, government does more and more for us and we do less and less for ourselves, our families and each other. Government grows bigger and stronger. We grow smaller and weaker.

The fairy tale maiden used to clutch her chest and sigh “my hero” when the dashing knight vanquished the evil villain. Not any more. Now she struts to the press conference microphone and publicly pouts about how there would be no evil villains in the first place if only our mighty government hero would fund more social programs.

But it wasn’t always this way. Once upon a time, people actually overcame obstacles in their lives without begging government for help. It’s almost impossible to believe. Were we really that unenlightened and regressive as a species? Imagine, actually accepting that, in life, we sometimes have to take the good with the bad. What WERE we thinking? After all, there should be no such thing as ‘bad’. And if there is, it’s the government’s fault for not regulating it away.

Hey parents, need that extra second income so you can buy that big screen and go to Cuba on vacation? Are the kids getting in your way? Don’t worry. The government will give you state subsidized daycare so Mommy can get out there and do stuff that’s really important and fulfilling, like maybe work in an office or a shopping mall.

Hey University students, are you having to go sober a few nights a week because those nasty tuition fees are eating up all your partying money? Hey, don’t worry, government will cap tuition fees for you and tax the middle class to pay the difference. Pretty cool huh?

Hey girls, is that hot boy ignoring you because he knows you don’t put out? What’s wrong with you? Get horizontal already. There’s nothing to worry about. If you get pregnant, the government will pay for an abortion or, if you decide to keep the baby, it’ll give you a free apartment and monthly welfare cheque, even if your boyfriend lives with you. Now that’s progressive.

Are your elderly parents getting in the way? Are you stressed out at the thought of having to take responsibility for them in their final years? No problem. Just ship them off to a handy-dandy government funded Nursing home and forget about ‘em. They’ll be happy, you’ll be happy and you’ll have a lot more free time to watch reality TV and bitch about how tough life is.

Are you or someone you love dieing of cancer? Never fear. Here in glorious nannyriffic Canada you get health care for free. Yep. You don’t have to do anything for yourself. Just let nanny do it all. Here, take a seat. The doctor will see you in three weeks. The specialist will see you three months from then. Tests will be done next year and treatment should start, oh, sometime between your wake and your funeral. And don’t worry about the cost. It’s all taken care of. Of course you’re not allowed to pay for faster service. That would be unfair to the people who can’t pay. So you’ll just take what nanny gives you and be grateful for it. Here, have some oxycontin. That’ll take the edge off while you wait.

Our enslavement was inevitable; our freedom fleeting and doomed from the start. Maybe humans were not meant to be free. After all, we have always lived under one form of tyranny or another, whether it was by tribal chiefs, dictators, monarchs, feudal landlords or whatever.

And now look what’s happened. This whacky experiment with democracy and capitalism is hardly a few hundred years old and already it’s starting to unravel. When it started we were free. People knew that freedom was directly linked to personal responsibility and autonomy. Our constitutions protected citizens from the state and enshrined individual rights and freedoms for all. And then what happened? Why, we promptly proceeded to barter away our freedom and autonomy to the state, piecemeal fashion, in exchange for safety and help in managing our lives.

You see, deep down inside, modern people don’t really want to be free. Been there, done that. What they want is to be protected and safe. ‘Risk’ is the new N word - a dirty word that must be expunged from our society. In fact, we have reached the point where taking even a minimal risk can be a crime, punishable in a court of law.

Not wearing a seat belt is stupid. It’s not particularly dangerous, mind you, given that 99.99999% of drivers never get in a serious accident, but stupid none the less. Same with adults who don't wear helmets on bicycles & motor cycles or 'personal floatation devices' (what a moronic term - what the hell was wrong with 'lifejacket'?) on water craft. Stupid - yes. But illegal? Should it really be the government’s job to haul us to court and punish us for making a free and conscious personal decision to take a stupid risk? Geez, if acting stupidly is a crime, why is Rosie O'Donnell still walking the streets?

And speaking of stupid risks - it seems to me that it’s far riskier to have unprotected sex these days. If the government was really interested in protecting us it would punish anyone who engages in sex without a condom. Maybe give ‘em some demerit points on their driver’s licenses or something if they are caught doing it in a car. It seems a little inconsistent to fine someone for not wearing a seatbelt but let them get off scott free when it comes to something as dangerous as not wearing a condom. Especially for gays. The fine for them should be double, given the significant health risk.

After all, if government insists on being in the business of protecting us from our own indiscretions and bad decisions, it might as well take its role seriously, and start by addressing the proliferation of AIDS. After that, it can get on with enforcing the seatbelt laws. It’s simply a matter of setting the right priorities.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Mass Murder and Self Delusion

"THIRTY-THREE DEAD” read the headline as I collected my paper from the doorstep. “Gunman massacres 32 at Virginia Tech University and then kills himself.”

Another day, another madman, I thought to myself, as I made my way to work. And I thought little more of it. No disrespect to the victims or anyone affected by this atrocity. It’s just that I try not to expend time thinking about horrible stuff that is beyond the ability of humans to predict or prevent.

I don’t ask “why” every time something bad happens to strangers. I don’t look for reasons and I don’t look for cures. I just accept it and move on. Maybe it’s because I’m a male and we have the neat ability to compartmentalize stuff. May it’s because I’m an insensitive clod and uncaring lout. Or maybe it’s just because, as I’ve grown older, I’ve come to realize that sometimes bad things happen to good people and, quite often, life just isn’t fair.

Sometimes I feel very, very alone. Few others appear to think this way. In fact, everyone seems to think that every problem has a cause and society has an obligation to find that cause and take care of it so nobody else gets hurt.

Most people, it would seem, are not satisfied with simply acknowledging that sh*t happens. They want to examine the sh*t and poke through it looking for small undigested bits of food to analyze. It’s as if they believe that through their analysis they will somehow be able to design a diet that produces sh*t that smells like roses. Sorry folks, but some people turn to sh*t no matter what you feed ‘em. Nothing to see here. Move along.

A gun man goes on a rampage. Gun control fanatics poke their heads out of their grant funded burrows and claim that nothing like this would happen if only we would ban guns. Gun advocates, on the other hand, claim that the killer would have been stopped short if all students were allowed to carry concealed weapons. Anti-drug zealots point to the fact that the killer was on some sort of pharmaceutical. Therapists and psychoanalysts speculate about his childhood. Community activists use the opportunity to demand that the government put more social programs in place. A spokeswoman for some toilet tissue company claims that if the murderer had only wiped his bum more often with their pillow-soft toilet tissue, he never would have been in that ghastly mood to begin with.

And then there’s the famous “reverse blame” trick. The killer was an immigrant from South Korea. South Korea's Foreign Ministry reportedly expressed condolences and said South Korea hoped that the tragedy would not "stir up racial prejudice or confrontation''. Hmmm, now where have I heard that before? Wait….I know, we hear it from Muslim community leaders every time some whacko Islamic nut-job kills people here in the West. Apparently it’s all the rage these days whenever there’s an attack by someone of a non-white persuasion to turn it around and pretend to be scared of a backlash. It never happens when the killer is white though and the victims are not. You’d never hear a representative of the white community begging a non-white community to please restrain themselves from “racial prejudice or confrontation”. After all, that would suggest that the non-white folk could actually think racist thoughts. And as we all know, only white folk are like that.

In any event, I digress. Aside from the fascinating social and political overtones that mass murders typically offer, I really don’t think too much about them. And, I firmly believe that trying to figure out 'why' these things happen is often neither useful nor sensible. Punish the perpetrators when these things happen. That's pretty well all we can do.

After having our so-called experts study human behavior and social constructs for decades, we are still no closer to stopping stuff like this from happening. The lunatics still pop-up from time to time to make the experts look ineffective and useless. Sometimes I think that the experts are really nothing more than social activists with degrees - more interested in invoking social change than actually finding a solution. That said, they do, however, serve one useful purpose: They make us forget our powerlessness. They make us feel like there’s something we can do to prevent the next big one. And, like self-deluded fools, we buy into it.

Quick: name me an important Canadian value. Strength? Naw. Honour? Nope. Courage? OK, stop it, you’re starting to crack me up. No silly, the most important Canadian value, next to tolerance, is compassion. Sigh.

Everyone wants to be compassionate. No, wait, I mean everyone is expected to be compassionate. So, everyone does their utmost to make everyone else think they are compassionate. And would a compassionate person deny some nice research scientist a tax funded grant so she can do more research on why people behave badly and kill other people? Of course not. Why, that would be positively un-compassionate.

OK. I know what you’re thinking – “What a heartless goof this guy is”. As if we are really that different from one another. In reality, the only difference between me and you, is that I’m not fooling myself into believing that I am something I’m not.

If you are like most people, you probably think of yourself as compassionate and caring. You don’t like to see others suffer. Me neither. But that doesn’t make me (or you) caring and compassionate. It just makes us normal, self-absorbed people, capable of occasionally furrowing our brows and displaying short bursts of quasi-empathy. Daily I pass homeless people in the street. Momentarily I feel bad for them, but I don’t take any of them home. Do you? Daily I read about murder, rape, starvation, abuse and genocide in the papers. Momentarily, I feel sorry for them, but It doesn’t affect my appetite or my sleep. Does it affect yours?

I seem to be incapable of feeling anything other than a brief, distant touch of something remotely resembling sympathy when strangers are killed. All I really care about are people who are part of my life. It’s sad about the dead students in Virginia. It’s a sad thing. But it’s not a sad feeling for me. Not particularly. If I was to feel sad every time a complete stranger was murdered, I’d be a pretty dour guy. Do you know how many people get killed every day around the world? Enough to make feeling sad for them a full time gig. And who wants to go through life like that? Better to just be a self-absorbed, pitiless cad. And best to be honest about it. I may be a pitiless cad, but at least I’m not self-delusional.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

They Knew Who They Were

In 100 years the white race will have no nations of its own. But every other race will.

Just think about it.

No – wait a minute. I mean, all you folks who are not white think about it. All you white folks, never mind. I didn’t mean to actually ask you to think about it. After all, that would require effort. And I wouldn’t want to interrupt your busy day. And anyway, your cultures are hardly worth preserving anyway. If they were, you’d be doing it already. Right my Dutch, British and Canadian friends?

Quick - name me five multicultural countries.

I bet you didn’t name a single country in Africa, Greater Asia, the Middle East, South America, or Central America - did you. Every nation you named was in North America or Europe – wasn’t it. Nations that were founded and developed into the most desirable and successful societies in the world by white folk. And nations that were, until a few generations ago, inhabited mainly by white folk.

But not any more. Now they are ‘multicultural’ societies - the only societies on the face of the planet where the founding majority race actually decided to commit cultural genocide on themselves. I know it’s hard to believe, but its true. Virtually all nations that were once culturally unique to white folks are now multi-hued tribal hodgepodges with no common understanding of their culture, heritage or future.

It frightens me to contemplate that, in a few short generations, white folks like me will have no culturally unique societies to call their own. Whether you are a white Canadian, a white citizen of France, a white German, a white Swede, a white Fin, a white person from the Netherlands or a white anyone. Not a single white person on this planet will be able to live in a nation that is culturally unique to them and that they can call their own.

But everyone else will.

It’s a testament to the accomplishments of white folk, I guess. Everyone else wants to be where we are to bask in the glow of our success, drink from the fountains we have built and eat from the buffet tables we have set. And that’s OK. Generosity and sharing is what Christianity (the basis of all western white cultures) is all about.

But, in the process of sharing our wealth with the world, did we really have to give up our cultures too? Did we have to sell-out all that our forefathers struggled for, fought for and believed in? Did we have to abandon our identity and our past in such a cavalier and unnecessary manner? No one put a gun to our heads. No one threatened us. We had a choice all along – we could have done what every generation in history has done and required newcomers to our countries to bend to us. Instead, we decided to bend to them.

With no precedent to look to – no successful historical models to refer to - we decided that it would be a good thing if we, on purpose, let millions of foreigners come to our countries, form ethnically separate tribes within our borders and essentially ignore our cultures.

With no proof that such action would have any positive results for our children, we white folks somehow decided that other cultures must be given equal consideration and respect within the borders of our own nations. My God, can anyone tell me what borders are for, if not to help people protect and preserve their cultural identity and way of life? Why do we have any borders at all if our culture is so unworthy of defending?

We have become brainwashed. And me as well. Even as I wrote the preceding paragraph, I felt slightly dirty - like the comments were somehow racist or something. Imagine. How on earth is it racist for a people to want to live their lives within a secure border, among people like them who share the same history and understanding of life?

And do you want to hear something sick and twisted? You know how white folks are constantly told that it is racist to prefer being around their own kind? Well, if you think about it, this preference is, in fact, the very basis for multiculturalism itself. We are told that folks from foreign cultures need to form their own communities so they can be with their own kind, have a sense of belonging and be happy. Get it? It's racist if we do it to them, but perfectly acceptable if they do it to us.

Of course, aside from the sick and twisted, there’s also the sad and ironic. While multiculturalism lets foreigners in western societies surround themselves with their own kind to the exclusion of all others, it also erodes the ability of the founding white race to enjoy the same privilege within their own nations. The more foreign cultures there are vying for space; the less space there is for the founding culture to enjoy and the more space the founding culture is forced to abandon to foreigners.

Even now, entire neighbourhoods and cities are being overrun by people whose main intention is to grow their foreign culture within their host nations and increase their influence and political power. Their communities are largely insular and separate from traditional white culture. And every square mile of land they occupy, is a square mile lost to white culture.

Maybe its poetic justice. Years ago, whites colonized many of their nations by force, now they are colonizing ours by stealth through the back door with our permission.

Whatever the case, if you are white you should cherish the little bit of culture you have left here in the West. In 100 years, your race will have no nations to call their own. They will likely not even have any nations that they control politically, what with the astronomical abortion rates and miniscule birthrates among whites.

Like lemmings rushing towards the cliff edge, white folk are on a journey to oblivion. Voluntarily, and almost eagerly, they have taken steps to ensure that future generations of their kind are politically disempowered and culturally marginalized. They have implemented social policies that will surely relegate them to minority status in their own nations within this century. Eventually, they will be just another multiculti, minority voice crying out to have their interests known amongst dozens of other multiculti voices, each focused solely on their own needs. It is the natural outcome of this culturally fragmented, tribal society that we have willfully created.

For a brief shining moment, white people had it all. They were rulers of their lands and masters of their destiny. They lived safely together, immersed in a comfortable cocoon of cultural familiarity and belonging. They shared a common purpose and set of values and a common identity. THEY KNEW WHO THEY WERE.

Nowadays, whites don’t know who they are, where they are, where they are going or where they’ll end up. And the saddest part is not that they don’t know – it’s that they don’t care. As such, they deserve whatever unpleasantness destiny typically delivers to such complacent, unappreciative dandies.

Wherever white people end up, though, I know one thing - there’ll be a lot of other people there who don’t look like them and don’t think like them. A lot of other people who share nothing with them in the way of cultural values. A lot of other people who have a drastically different idea about what their society should look like. And a lot of other people whose first priority will be to defend their own cultural interests and take care of their own. Something white people sadly failed to do.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

The Pearl Harbour/Nine-Eleven Connection

On December 7, 1941 the second biggest deception in American history occurred.

Planes bearing the colors of the Japanese air force swooped down from the skies over Pearl Harbour raining hellfire on the American forces below. It was, in the words of President Franklin Roosevelt, “a date which will live in infamy”. And it does. We still talk about it today. It was the first time the US had been attacked on their own soil since the war of 1812. It was the catalyst that spurred Americans into entering the Second World War and joining the allied forces in their battle against Hitler’s Nazism. The rest is history.

Well, maybe the rest is history. But what about the attack itself? Does the historical account reflect what really happened?

Sometimes, history gets the story wrong. Sometimes it does so on purpose. Like in the case of Pearl Harbour. Even after all these years – after countless movies, documentaries and television shows were made, and innumerable books written - there’s still one carefully hidden truth that history may have neglected to tell you about Pearl Harbour.

Before telling you what that truth is, however, I must give special credit to two individuals who have inspired me and whose strength has given me the confidence to write these words today. They are genuine American icons – my heroes: Rosie O’Donnell and Sean Penn.

Ms O’Donnell and Mr. Penn are no strangers to controversy. Both have put their careers and very lives on the line so that Americans could know the truth about nine-eleven. I'm sure that they left no stone unturned in their valiant and exhaustive efforts to get to the bottom of what occurred on that fateful day. It must have pained these patriotic Americans greatly to have to doubt their beloved government and consider, as I have, that their government was actually behind the attacks on nine-eleven.

However, our suspicions were apparently well founded. There is plenty of evidence to show that the sinister nine-eleven plot was carried out by the CIA (and probably Mossad) using pre-planted explosives and remote controlled aircraft. And, as many have speculated, the whole purpose of the deception was, apparently, to galvanize public opinion against the enemies of Israel and trick Americans into supporting an eventual attack on George Bush Senior’s arch enemy – Saddam Hussein. Saddam is dead now. And dead men tell no tales. Convenient? Definitely. Coincidence? I think not.

It is only because of the testicular fortitude shown by Ms O’Donnell and Mr. Penn that I am able to summon the courage to tell you what I know today. They have lead by example, and I would not be able to live with myself if I did not follow.

For the past several years I have poured over every written account of the Pearl Harbour bombing and every inch of film shot on that day. And only after extensive analysis can I say with 100% conviction that nine-eleven wasn’t the first time the American government in collusion with Jews staged a fake attack on American soil.

They did it at least once before - on December 7, 1941 at Pearl Harbour.

Much of the film from that day is somewhat grainy and out of focus but I am certain that the planes used in the attack were clever duplicates painted to look like authentic Japanese war planes. I have also deduced that the pilots were, in fact, American death-row convicts who were kidnapped from prisons by the CIA, drugged and given plastic surgery to make them look Japanese. They were then implanted with a brain-controlling micro-chip before being strapped into the seats of the planes and sent hurtling towards Pearl Harbour from a secret aircraft carrier in the Pacific.

I have also discerned by analyzing film footage that the explosions on the ground were not caused by bombs that were dropped. Rather, judging by the timing of the blasts, there must have been explosives planted before the attack – probably by the CIA and their loathsome Jewish conspirators - which were, I surmise, detonated by remote control.

Clearly, Pearl Harbour was an insidious deception cooked up by President Roosevelt and the Elders of Zion to get the American public to buy into WWII so they would enter the war and save the Jews from their Nazi enemies. Just like nine-eleven was concocted by George W Bush and the International Brotherhood of Stone Masons to rally Americans against the Israel’s Islamic enemies. Same tactic – different Jewish enemy. The parallels are exact. In both cases, the attacks came in waves, planes were used and the pilots committed suicide by crashing their planes while screaming in a foreign language Get it? Dead men tell no tales. Especially those you can’t understand. Convenient? Definitely. Coincidence? I think not.

Is it any wonder they tried the same trick again with nine-eleven? After all, it worked the first time. And I predict that it will only be a matter of time before the American imperialists and their soulless Zionist conspirators try it again. Only next time, we’ll be ready for them. We’ll know what’s going on. With Rosie and Sean to inspire us, and me to ensure that the truth is told, we won’t be fooled again.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Terrible Thoughts and Puerile Predictions

Maybe you think it, but you dare not say it:

1. The white gene pool is suffering because many of the smartest white women in Canada are not having any children.

2. All young men should get a vasectomy at age 20. Being a father these days means being 50% mommy, so mommy can be 50% daddy. And if things go bad, men don’t have a chance in Canada’s women-friendly, man-hating family court system. Best to just snip, snip. The risks outweigh the reasons not to.

3. Kids who don’t have two loving parents of the opposite sex, start life at a disadvantage.

4. State funded daycare is a communist travesty geared to transfer parental responsibility to the state so the state can raise our kids for us in the manner it deems appropriate.

5. No one locks his door more tightly than a thief. That’s why the state trusts us less than we trust it.

6. Immigrants have a lot more kids than people born here. Eventually they will dominate and replace the founding culture with some other culture. And it might not be a better culture. Then again, it might. After all, what’s here at the moment could stand some improvement.

7. Strong, independent, conservative minded Christians created the best nations in the history of the world. Then they let soft, valueless, left-wing secular humanists destroy them.

8. One reason Canadians can’t get good health care is because they have to wait in line behind the hundreds of thousands of immigrants and refugees who enter Canada every year.

9. No one over age 50 should be allowed to permanently immigrate to Canada unless they are rich. We can’t even take care of our own old people properly. We don’t need any more.

10. Bob Geldof and Bono are pompous, misguided communistic jerks who have made themselves the laughing stock of every despot and dictator in the world.

11. In general terms, non white people are more racist than white people.

12. 100 years from now, every European nation except for Britain will be run by Islamic governments. Soft, purposeless, secular Europeans will be no match for their aggressors’ strong resolve and fanatical loyalty to their religious ideology.

13. 100 years from now, Canada will have the highest standard of living in the world, next to Australia. We will be self sufficient in water, oil, natural gas, electricity, wheat, livestock and most vegetables. We will be famous for pioneering cures for cancer, AIDs, Arthritis and other maladies. Citizens will live to be 150 and remain healthy all their lives. We will also have a mighty army. Patriotic young Canadians will line up to serve their beloved nation and revel in spreading peace and freedom through out the world. We will fight tyranny and oppression on many fronts around the globe and be a beacon of strength, steadfastness and uncompromising principle. We will also be known for having the most open, transparent and incorruptible government and political structure in the world. The future will be ours.

14. 100 minutes from now, I will be waking up from this dream. It was pretty accurate up to number 13 though, wasn’t it?

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

You can tell my age with carbon dating

I am a hypocrite. A seething mass of contradiction. I say one thing and do another. I do not walk the walk or talk the talk. I am unable to reconcile my beliefs with my actions. I live one way and expect my children to live another.

I am a man and the father of girls.

On one hand, I look at the world through the eyes of a man. And I despair. I see how feminism and women's abandonment of the home has pretty well destroyed white western societies. Birth rates are so low that white people will be reduced to small powerless minorities in their own nations within this century. Real estate is more or less unaffordable for most single parent families, and other one income families, thanks to the proliferation of dual income households. Our sons are drugged into docility by prescription happy doctors and career focused mothers. Kids are committing suicide in increasing numbers. Many kids are uncivil and fat, having no mother at home to keep them in line and feed them properly. They are also terribly spoiled and self centered, thanks to guilty career obsessed parents who make up for their lack of time with an excess of tolerance and material gifts. And men have fared no better than the kids under the thumb of feminism. Many are punitively garnished for support and routinely denied joint custody of their children by our man-hating women-friendly family court system.

On the other hand, I look at the world through the eyes of a father who has daughters and no sons. It makes me feel a bit better. Certainly my girls will benefit greatly from our feminist-centric society. Once they clue into what’s going on, they’ll probably get off on holding all the cards. They’ll be able to have good careers. They’ll be able to leave their husband for no good reason whatsoever and still get the house, kids and fat support payments. And they’ll probably love being able to choose from the vast array of men out there who would be willing to be mommy half the time so they can do more important things.

Or maybe they’ll suffer a blow to the head, go insane, and decide that being a mother is the most important thing they could do. And maybe they’ll seek out a man to marry who will be willing to support his family throughout their children’s formative years so they have Mom there when they need her. Naw, that’s just plain crazy. What woman in her right mind would do such a batty thing?

In any event, I can tell you this - whatever path my daughters chose in life, I have no doubt that they will grow up to be strong, independent-minded and successful. They could be no less with me as a father. I would raise them no other way.

As for me, I’ll just sit here and watch fascinated as my body slowly fossilizes. Soon, they’ll haul my antiquated ass off to the museum where children will gawk at the sight of me while a tour guide describes in an icily snide tone how men like me became extinct.

Then all the kids will go home, turn on Jerry Springer, nuke a pizza pocket and wonder what’s keeping mommy so long at the office.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

It's a Bad Trade-off For Any Dad

My daughters don’t know it yet, but they owe their entire existence to a simple decision my wife made. What was that decision, you ask. Simple - She decided to be a stay at home Mom. That, in turn, lead me to decide to have kids with her. It’s as simple as that. (And, oh yeah, the love and deep emotional feelings and stuff also had a bit to do with it.)

I could probably be very happy spending my life with a career oriented women if there were no children involved. But, I would never-ever willfully marry and have kids with a career woman. Why on earth would I? It would be nuts for me to put myself out like that.

Look, maybe women are genetically equipped to be dad 50% of the time, but I am not genetically equipped to be Mom. Most men aren’t, I think. They just do it because – well, I don’t know why, exactly. I guess it’s because they weren’t as discerning and smart as me in choosing their spouse and plotting their life’s course. It’s kind of mean to say, but, I wouldn’t trade places with any of ‘em. I don’t care if their TV is bigger than mine and their house worth more. My life is way better than theirs.

Having my wife at home gives us tremendous freedom and takes a lot of pressure off us and the whole family. Well, except for the financial pressure. But, that’s a sacrifice we choose to make. While the dual income families enjoy the extra stuff their extra income awards them, We enjoy the quality of life our traditional lifestyle awards us. I bring home the bacon, my wife takes 100% care of the household. No rushed 7:00 AM dropoffs at the daycare centre for me; and no frantic rush hour driving to make the 6:00 PM pickup . No leaving work when one of the kids is sick.. No watching my exhausted wife stumble through the door at 6:30 PM with a briefcase in one hand and a bucket of greasy chicken in the other. No laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, shopping, or any housework. My wife does it all, baby. And not only that, she’s got a heart of gold and tremendous strength of character. She also looks half her age and has a body that I would happily die for. And, oh, she doesn’t mind when I go to the pub to have a pint with the guys. (Hate me, it’s OK, I understand.)

I have always said, and I truly believe, that any man who makes a decent living should think long and hard about having kids with a working woman. Why would any man take on so many additional headaches just to be able to buy more “stuff”? And, after all, in the end, that’s all he would get for his troubles – more stuff. He wouldn’t get happier. He wouldn’t get more satisfaction out of life. He certainly wouldn’t get laid more. (Stressed out working women make tired lovers.) He wouldn’t get more family and personal quality time (Family and personal time is much more plentiful for fathers who come home to a clean house, a home-cooked meal and a closet full of laundered and ironed clothes.) All today’s dual income families get is an extra income stream to buy extra “stuff”. (Laughably, a lot of that second income stream often gets used up paying for the stuff necessary for mommy to work outside the house in the first place – expensive daycare, a second car, transit fare, lots of nice clothes and shoes, a lot more meals out & takeout, guilt gifts for the kids, etc.)

If you ask me, it’s a bad trade-off for any dad (and for many moms, I would wager.) Is it any wonder that fewer men are getting married and many don’t want children. Can’t blame them really.

At heart, men are simple creatures. They are not prone to overanalyzing their lives like many women are. They think more than they speak and act more than they think. They are at their best when their role is clear and they know what is expected of them. Once upon a time, their world was like that. Mine still is.

I often sit and wonder why more dads don’t go off the deep end with all the gender gymnastics and parental uncertainty they have to deal with these days. It must be hell going through life not knowing exactly what the hell it is you are from one minute to the next – Momdy or Dadmy.

A few days ago, I was waiting for my morning train to work and it was delayed. While waiting, I happened to be standing beside two men who were conversing. They had apparently not seen each other in a while. One was telling the other that he had a one year old daughter and his wife was expecting their second. He and his wife were on different shifts. He would leave work, pick up their baby, take her home and spend the rest of the night tending to her. Baths, feedings, clean-ups, the whole thing. Apparently, the baby was an all-nighter. He had to give up playing hockey, he said. It was really sad. He sounded less than happy. In fact, he sounded resigned. Resigned to his destiny.

Destiny? Maybe his. But not mine.

Personally, I would never willfully choose such a life for myself. I am surprised that so many men still do. Amazing, isn’t it, how far a bit of sex will go. One day you’re having some great lovin’ and not really thinking about the future. And the next you’re munching on leftover KFC, doing the laundry and changing a poopy diaper while Mommy works late at the office with Raoule.

If I had a son I would be advising him as follows: “My son, freeze your sperm at age 18 and get a vasectomy. Then, cavort at will in the garden and pick the most beautiful flowers to decorate your bed. Never get married and never, ever have kids unless you find someone who’s willing to be a full-time Mom to your children and a full time wife to you during your children’s formative years. You deserve no less, my son. And settling for less, makes you less of a man.” That’s what I would tell him.

But, alas, I have daughters, not sons. So my advice to them will be different. I will advise them as follows: “My darlings, get University degrees, have careers and make lots of money. Then, around age 30, marry a good man and have a few kids. Then, go back to work and leave the kids with me and grandma during the day. After all, my sweethearts, you don’t need no man to support you. You can support yourself. If your husband is any kind of man, he’ll understand.” That’s what I’ll be telling them.

What? How dare you. I am not a hypocrite. Boys and girls are different, that’s all. They need different life strategies to prosper. I’m just trying to steer them in the right direction so they’ll be happy. It’s the least a good father can do.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Don't Worry, Be Envirohappy

Wasn’t Y2K supposed to bring down western economies and topple all the evil Zionist/Christian capitalist cesspools of greed and inequity? I remember reading that Nostradamus predicted that the end of the world would occur in 2000. Or maybe it was Osama Bin Laden or something. Whatever the case, Y2K turned out to be a dud, just like all the other doomsday predictions of all the other nutcase chicken littles that litter our historical landscape.

In the 1970s we were told by many concerned scientists that all the earth’s oil would be depleted in 25 years or so and if we didn’t stop driving and start turning down our thermostats we would all suffer a horrible fate. That was almost 40 years ago. And to quote Mark Twain: it would seem that rumors of our deaths were greatly exaggerated. Huge new reserves of oil are being found every year all over the world.

And there was another false alarm in the 1970s. Newsweek ran an article on the pending global cooling crises. Honest. Back then, scientists from all over the world had joined together to warn us of a coming ice age. (Sound familiar?) Temperatures would plummit, crops would die and, then, so would we - alone and freezing in the dark. And not just the people in western Canada, as Pierre Trudeau suggested. Everyone.

Scientists, it would seem, are not at all infallible.

These days the angst-ridden, socialist scare-mongers have invented a new demon to trot out and terrify us with – global warming. Oh, excuse me, I meant “climate change”. Hell, it’s only been a few years since the capitalist-hating, white-guilt troupe first arrived on the scene with their latest scheme to bring down the west and already they’ve rebranded themselves. It’s no longer “global warming”. After all, that term actually appears to mean something and its purveyors might one day be called to task if “warming” doesn’t literally occur in the manner they predict. So, they concocted a new term that is so shifty – so oblique and shadowy in nature - that no one will ever be able to nail it or them down.

And they are clever. Unlike ‘global warming’, ‘climate change’ can’t be disproved. The climate is constantly changing. A term like “climate change” can mean something one day and something else the next. Is this year colder than last year? Run for the hills, it’s ‘climate change’. Has the temperature in the arctic been a few degrees warmer in the 1990s than in the 1980s? Egad, stock up on canned goods and dig a shelter. It’s ‘climate change’.

Yep. Climate change is the perfect concocted crisis for a liberal to hang his hat on. It can’t be proven now; and by the time it can be disproven, its purveyors will be dead of old age. They certainly won’t be dead because of non-existent global warming. Damn. There I go again. Sorry. I mean “climate change”.

Throughout its history, the earth has been going through a continuous cycle of so-called climate change. For awhile it was hot and dinosaurs roamed. For awhile it was cold, ice caps formed and mastodons trudged about. This stuff occurred naturally for millions of years before people even started burning fossil fuels. How do we know it’s not just occurring naturally now – if it’s occurring at all?

Recently I saw some pictures on the web showing how ice formations on Mars are shrinking - just like our polar ice caps apparently are now. Wow. I never imagined that the emissions from Al Gore’s limo could actually permeate earth’s atmosphere and travel hundreds of millions of miles to Mars where they could actually start a global warming (ooops, I mean climate change) phenomenon. Apparently, white Christian capitalist western democracies are not only the plague of mankind, they are also the plague of martiankind. Or, maybe solar activity has something to do with it. Naw. It’s got to be us evil white capitalists. After all, David Suzuki tells us so.

You better just believe it and buy into it 100%. If you don’t, you may just as well be a Christian in Stalinist Russia, a Jew in Nazi Germany, a epileptic in Salem, or a non Muslim in Saudi Arabia. If you doubt the religion (or ideology) of climate change, you better just keep it your dirty little secret, else you will be vilified or worse.

Environmentalism is the new gay. All environmentalists are fabulous. It’s a wonderful way to be and no dissenting views will be tolerated. I predict that, pretty soon, a new word will be introduced to us. 'Envirophobia'. Enviromentalists will be a protected group under our Charter of Rights and freedoms and 'envirophobia' will be featured in a prominent slot on Wikepedia – right beside its brothers: homophobia and islamophobia. You will not be allowed to refute or even think badly of the beliefs of environmentalists.

Already, environmentalism has permeated our consciousness and dominated the media and our education systems in a manner that rivals the spread of AIDS in Africa. And like AIDS, it’s a disease that most of its victims expose themselves to voluntarily - despite of how bad it is for themselves and their society. It’s also a lot like socialism – a mental disease that has caused nothing but misery and hardship wherever it is imposed. No wonder so may rabid environmentalists are socialists. One serves the purpose of the other. Socialism wants to crush western success; and environmentalism will crush western success.

Yep, it's a mental disorder. Why else would it be called environMENTALism?

Look, we really need to wake up. If we allow the enviroradicals to win the day, our society is doomed. Our entire civilization revolves around fossil fuels. Our food, clothing and everything else is transported by train and truck. And don’t forget, here in Canada, we live in a country that is cold much of the year. We need to burn stuff to keep warm and to power our industries.

And one more thing. Even if the purveyors of doom and gloom are right and C02 emissions are putting the planet in peril (and that’s a big if) Canada only produces 2% of the globe’s greenhouse gasses. So even if we closed half our electrical plants and factories, pulled half our vehicles off the road and cut our personal consumption in half, we would only reduce total global emissions by 1%. Meanwhile Russia, China and India, three of the biggest polluters, would continue to puff out their pollution at unchecked rates.

Maybe some Canadians would be willing to freeze in the dark while waiting for a solar powered bus to take their sorry unemployed asses to the soup kitchen, but I am not. Maybe I’ll consider it if David Suzuki, Al Gore and every envirohappy movie star in Hollywood starts driving a tiny hybrid car, moves to a solar powered bungalow and starts leading by example. Till then, they can just take their pathetic, hypocritical rhetoric and bite me.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Lazy is as Lazy does

I’m a lazy SOB. You are too. Don’t deny it. OK. Maybe on a relative scale, based on the current reality, you probably aren’t any better or any worse than any of the other lazy SOBs out there. But, compared to someone who lived a few generations ago, you’re definitely a lazy, slothful SOB.

You wake up in the morning. You don’t have to bother yourself with trying to read a complicated dial to tell what time it is. Just read the numbers. 7:00. And if you want to nod off for another few minutes, just hit the snooze. 7:09. And again. 7:18. And again 7:27. Oops, it’s getting late, better get up. And don’t even try and figure out why every snooze feature on every freakin’ clock radio in the bloody world is set at 9 minute intervals instead of, say, 5, 10 or even 15. The world’s greatest scientists have been trying for decades to solve that little mystery. The truth is, no one really knows. So just put it out of your mind and get up, hit the button on the coffee maker, turn on the TV to see what the weather will be like, check your blackberry for urgent messages and head for the hot shower. It all seems so natural and right. These are not luxuries at all. They are simply essential tools to help your sorry ass survive in this stressful, challenging world. If your ancestors were still alive, however, they might disagree. They were up at dawn, lighting the coal stove, drawing water from the pump and emptying the chamber pots.

None of this nonsense for us though. We have evolved. No exertion necessary. All we need to know how to do to survive today can be done with one button pushing finger or one knob twirling fist. And I mean everything.

We don’t get up to change the channel. We sit inert and push a button. We don’t light a fire to cook, we twirl a knob on the stove or push a button on the microwave. We don’t use elbow grease to wash our clothes or dishes. We lean over and push a button. Argh. Be careful. All that leaning is going to wreck havoc on your fragile back. We don’t need to hold a pen and move our arm to write or do a calculation. We just rest our elbows on the desk and push a few buttons on a computer or calculator. OK, technically they’re called keys, but they’re really densely compacted square buttons. Even erasing takes less energy. And there’s no rubber debris to sweep off the desk. That, in itself, probably saves thousands of people a year from dieing from exertion.

It is virtually unfathomable for me to grasp that years ago accountants, bookkeepers and clerks did all their calculations by hand and kept everything meticulously organized in paper files. And what about the great prose and poetry classics? All were written by hand on paper with a quill or pen loaded manually with ink. And no spell check. How did they do it? I would be sorely challenged to organize my thoughts and compose anything that way without pages full of strikeouts and erase marks. And I can’t even imagine having to walk to the book case or, heaven forbid, the library, to look up words or research anything. Not when the internet is right there with any bit of information I need.

And don’t forget music. It used to be that we actually had to get up and turn over a record in order to listen to an entire album. Now we just hit 'shuffle' on our CD players or Ipods and furgedaboutit. Oddly, we don’t seem to enjoy music as much as we used to. Maybe its because most of today’s music is substandard crap. Or maybe it’s because the effort required to actually do something is directly proportional to the amount of enjoyment derived from the experience. Hey, call me crazy.

Even our cars are made to save us the pesky responsibility of working too hard. No more window-elbow from rolling down the windows. We just press a button. No more changing gears. Just put the car in D and drive. No annoying clutch to work. (My left leg is so grateful.) Power steering alleviates the need to work too hard turning corners. And I’m sure those digital presets on the radio have saved a million lives. And then there’s the intermittent wipers which save us from the interminable agony of having to turn them on and off when precipitation becomes unpredictable.

Buttons, keys, knobs, levers and switches; silicon chips and circuit boards; on board computers and electronic sensors; voice activated computer and cellular technology; remote controlled doors and ignitions; stuff that turns on and off by itself. What more could a lazy SOB possibly ask for. Surely we have attained utopia.

And the absolute best is when our stuff talks to us. Don’t bother running for the phone. Good heavens, you could break a sweat. Just let the answering machine take it. And don’t worry about missing your email. Your computer will tell you when an urgent message comes in. Sorry about the spam. Our bathroom scales talk, the appliances talk, the cars talk, the machines that answer the phone when you call the service centre to complain about a broken talking machine talk. Our educators tell us that we should listen to our kids more. Hell, who’s got the energy after wading through the labyrinth of voice prompts when we call the school board.

And god almighty, even the elevators talk. Where I work, a soft feminine voice emanates from the elevator walls sweetly announcing every floor when the car stops. She even lets us know whether we are “going up” or going down” when the door closes. I don’t expect that I will ever go postal, but, hey, you never know. And if I do, I won’t arrive at work with a shotgun and go after my coworkers. Oh no. I’ll march straight into the elevator and send that nice automated voice straight to techno-hell.

Then I’ll sit in the lobby, call the elevator company and wait for their voice mail to finally connect me with a real person. The way I figure it, if I attentively follow the automated instructions and press the buttons like I’m told, I'll be out on bail before I get to talk to a real person. Or maybe I’ll just ignore the voice prompts, pretend to be on a rotary phone and wait a few minutes for an attendant (“who will be happy to serve me”) to come on the line. As we all know, that’s really the only way to get service over the phone these days.